1
00:00:08,680 --> 00:00:09,966
They just walked out of there.

2
00:00:10,040 --> 00:00:11,644
Yeah, I know,
I was sort of sitting next to you.

3
00:00:11,720 --> 00:00:14,929
The whole Waters family,
they just walked right out of there.

4
00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:18,641
- Again, I was in the room.
- How do they always manage that?

5
00:00:18,720 --> 00:00:20,210
They're good.

6
00:00:20,280 --> 00:00:21,691
They're greedy and they'll do it again.

7
00:00:21,760 --> 00:00:23,922
And next time, we're going to
catch them in the act.

8
00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:25,047
How?

9
00:00:34,960 --> 00:00:36,883
- No good?
- They always know we're coming.

10
00:00:36,960 --> 00:00:38,689
How do they always know?

11
00:00:38,760 --> 00:00:41,161
They're good, they work at it.

12
00:00:41,240 --> 00:00:43,083
- They're never going to stop.
- Well, neither are we.

13
00:01:10,480 --> 00:01:12,767
- Greg.
- In the act!

14
00:01:13,560 --> 00:01:17,645
The only way we're going to do this,
in the act!

15
00:01:46,680 --> 00:01:48,250
You still blocking it?

16
00:01:48,680 --> 00:01:50,569
Yeah, very efficiently hacked.

17
00:01:51,160 --> 00:01:53,561
They must be bloody pleased
with themselves.

18
00:01:53,640 --> 00:01:55,130
They must be.

19
00:02:01,720 --> 00:02:02,926
Right, then.

20
00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:04,126
Ah, no.

21
00:02:04,200 --> 00:02:06,851
You go make the arrest.
This one's yours, boss.

22
00:02:06,920 --> 00:02:08,046
You've never called me boss before.

23
00:02:08,120 --> 00:02:10,851
No? Well, look what happens
when you're good.

24
00:02:10,920 --> 00:02:13,287
You know how most days aren't good days?

25
00:02:14,160 --> 00:02:16,527
- This is a good day.
- Not for the Waters family.

26
00:02:17,720 --> 00:02:19,245
Okay, 10 men on the roof.
All exits covered.

27
00:02:19,320 --> 00:02:21,129
The bank's closed
so we've no hostages to worry about.

28
00:02:23,440 --> 00:02:24,441
Sorry, no, go on, go on.

29
00:02:24,520 --> 00:02:26,488
Um, we've got
the tunnel entrance covered

30
00:02:26,560 --> 00:02:28,369
and Davis, Well and Christie
are heading up.

31
00:02:28,440 --> 00:02:30,966
- Armed Response aren't mucking around.

32
00:02:31,040 --> 00:02:32,451
Sorry, I'd better get this.

33
00:02:32,520 --> 00:02:33,681
It's him, isn't it?

34
00:02:39,880 --> 00:02:41,882
- I... I have to go.
- What?

35
00:02:42,040 --> 00:02:43,485
- You make the arrest.
- No way.

36
00:02:43,560 --> 00:02:45,483
Sorry, you'll be fine.
I'm cool with this.

37
00:02:45,560 --> 00:02:47,767
Jones will get all the credit
if you leave now and you know he will.

38
00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:53,129
Yeah, well... Yeah, it doesn't matter,
I'll have to go.

39
00:02:57,160 --> 00:02:59,208
Backup, I need maximum backup.

40
00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:00,645
Baker Street, now.

41
00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:14,691
What's going on?

42
00:03:14,760 --> 00:03:16,410
- This is hard.
- What?

43
00:03:16,480 --> 00:03:18,801
Really hard.
Hardest thing I've ever had to do.

44
00:03:21,520 --> 00:03:23,568
Do you know
any funny stories about John?

45
00:03:25,920 --> 00:03:26,921
What?

46
00:03:28,240 --> 00:03:29,730
I need anecdotes.

47
00:03:29,800 --> 00:03:31,006
Didn't go to any trouble, did you?

48
00:04:58,840 --> 00:05:02,208
- Shut up, Mrs Hudson.
- I haven't said a word.

49
00:05:02,280 --> 00:05:03,964
You're formulating a question

50
00:05:04,040 --> 00:05:06,407
and it's physically painful
watching you think.

51
00:05:06,480 --> 00:05:08,209
I thought it was you playing.

52
00:05:08,280 --> 00:05:10,009
It was me playing.

53
00:05:10,720 --> 00:05:12,165
I am composing.

54
00:05:12,240 --> 00:05:13,924
You were dancing.

55
00:05:14,680 --> 00:05:16,921
- I was road-testing.
- You what?

56
00:05:17,320 --> 00:05:18,890
Why are you here?

57
00:05:18,960 --> 00:05:21,201
I'm bringing you your morning tea.

58
00:05:21,280 --> 00:05:22,611
You're not usually awake.

59
00:05:22,880 --> 00:05:23,961
You bring me tea in the morning?

60
00:05:24,360 --> 00:05:25,885
Where do you think
it came from?

61
00:05:25,960 --> 00:05:28,361
I don't know,
I just thought it sort of happened.

62
00:05:28,440 --> 00:05:30,044
Your mother has a lot to answer for.

63
00:05:30,120 --> 00:05:32,600
Mmm, I know. I have a list.

64
00:05:33,120 --> 00:05:34,804
Mycroft has a file.

65
00:05:35,320 --> 00:05:37,368
So, it's the big day, then.

66
00:05:38,960 --> 00:05:40,405
What big day?

67
00:05:40,480 --> 00:05:41,925
The wedding.

68
00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:43,604
John and Mary are getting married.

69
00:05:43,800 --> 00:05:46,326
Two people who currently who live
together are about to attend church,

70
00:05:46,400 --> 00:05:48,004
have a party, go on a short holiday,

71
00:05:48,080 --> 00:05:49,889
then carry on living together.
What's big about that?

72
00:05:49,960 --> 00:05:51,405
It changes people, marriage.

73
00:05:51,480 --> 00:05:53,005
Mmm, no, it doesn't.

74
00:05:53,200 --> 00:05:56,443
Well, you wouldn't understand
'cause you always live alone.

75
00:05:57,760 --> 00:05:59,330
Your husband was executed
for double murder,

76
00:05:59,400 --> 00:06:01,164
you're hardly an advert
for companionship.

77
00:06:01,960 --> 00:06:05,646
Marriage changes you as a person
in ways that you can't imagine.

78
00:06:05,720 --> 00:06:07,085
As does lethal injection.

79
00:06:07,160 --> 00:06:10,607
My best friend, Margaret,
she was my chief bridesmaid,

80
00:06:10,680 --> 00:06:12,489
we were going to be
best friends forever,

81
00:06:12,560 --> 00:06:14,050
we always said that.

82
00:06:14,120 --> 00:06:15,724
But I hardly saw her after that.

83
00:06:15,880 --> 00:06:17,006
Aren't there usually biscuits?

84
00:06:17,080 --> 00:06:18,411
- I've run out.
- Have the shops?

85
00:06:18,480 --> 00:06:21,962
She cried the whole day, saying,
"Ooh, it's the end of an era."

86
00:06:22,280 --> 00:06:23,725
I'm sure the shop on the corner is open.

87
00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:25,723
She was probably right, really.

88
00:06:25,800 --> 00:06:27,689
I remember she left early.

89
00:06:27,760 --> 00:06:29,808
I mean, who leaves a wedding early?

90
00:06:30,280 --> 00:06:31,520
So sad.

91
00:06:31,600 --> 00:06:33,523
Mmm. Anyway, you've got things to do.

92
00:06:34,040 --> 00:06:36,042
No, not really.
I've got plenty of time...

93
00:06:36,120 --> 00:06:37,406
- Biscuits!

94
00:06:37,480 --> 00:06:40,211
I really am going to have a word
with your mother.

95
00:06:40,280 --> 00:06:42,442
You can if you like,
she understands very little.

96
00:06:58,840 --> 00:06:59,966
Right, then.

97
00:07:06,400 --> 00:07:07,731
Into battle.

98
00:08:14,360 --> 00:08:15,885
Congratulations!

99
00:08:15,960 --> 00:08:18,042
Okay, hold it there,
I want to get this shot

100
00:08:18,120 --> 00:08:19,565
of the newlyweds.

101
00:08:20,240 --> 00:08:22,641
Ah, just the bride and groom, please.

102
00:08:23,800 --> 00:08:25,245
- Sherlock.
- Oh, sorry.

103
00:08:26,760 --> 00:08:29,047
Okay. Three, two, one.

104
00:08:29,120 --> 00:08:30,326
- Cheese.

105
00:08:38,840 --> 00:08:40,842
The famous Mr Holmes.

106
00:08:40,920 --> 00:08:42,888
I'm very pleased to meet you.

107
00:08:43,160 --> 00:08:45,208
- But no sex, okay?
- Sorry?

108
00:08:45,760 --> 00:08:47,250
You don't have to look so scared.

109
00:08:47,320 --> 00:08:48,560
I'm only messing.

110
00:08:48,640 --> 00:08:51,484
Bridesmaid, best man,
it's a bit traditional.

111
00:08:52,400 --> 00:08:53,526
Is it?

112
00:08:53,600 --> 00:08:54,840
But not obligatory.

113
00:08:55,040 --> 00:08:56,121
If that's the sort of thing
you're looking for,

114
00:08:56,200 --> 00:08:57,725
the man over there
in blue is your best bet.

115
00:08:57,800 --> 00:09:00,485
Recently divorced doctor
with a ginger cat,

116
00:09:00,560 --> 00:09:04,281
a barn conversion and a history
of erectile dysfunction.

117
00:09:04,360 --> 00:09:06,442
Reviewing that information,
possibly not your best bet.

118
00:09:06,760 --> 00:09:07,761
Yeah, maybe not.

119
00:09:07,840 --> 00:09:10,002
Sorry, there was one more deduction
there than I was expecting.

120
00:09:10,080 --> 00:09:14,005
Mr Holmes,
you're going to be incredibly useful.

121
00:09:21,640 --> 00:09:24,041
Hello, lovely to meet you.

122
00:09:24,400 --> 00:09:25,606
- How are you?
- Beautiful, Mary.

123
00:09:25,680 --> 00:09:26,681
Thank you.

124
00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:29,600
David.

125
00:09:29,720 --> 00:09:32,007
Mary. Congratulations.

126
00:09:32,080 --> 00:09:34,526
- You look, um, very nice.
- Thanks.

127
00:09:34,600 --> 00:09:36,443
John, congratulations.
You're a lucky man.

128
00:09:36,520 --> 00:09:37,567
Thank you.

129
00:09:37,640 --> 00:09:39,085
Um, David, this is Sherlock.

130
00:09:39,160 --> 00:09:42,482
- Mmm.
- Um, yeah, we've, um...

131
00:09:43,120 --> 00:09:44,485
We've met.

132
00:09:47,560 --> 00:09:51,246
So what exactly are my duties
as an usher?

133
00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:54,729
Let's talk about Mary first.

134
00:09:55,520 --> 00:09:57,249
- Sorry, what?
- Oh, I think you know what.

135
00:09:57,320 --> 00:09:59,687
You went out with her for two years.

136
00:09:59,760 --> 00:10:02,286
Ages ago.
We're just good friends now.

137
00:10:02,360 --> 00:10:03,771
Is that a fact?

138
00:10:03,840 --> 00:10:06,161
Whenever she tweets,
you respond within five minutes,

139
00:10:06,240 --> 00:10:07,571
regardless of time or current location,

140
00:10:07,640 --> 00:10:09,210
suggesting you have her on text alert.

141
00:10:09,280 --> 00:10:10,770
In all your Facebook photographs
of the happy couple,

142
00:10:10,840 --> 00:10:11,841
Mary takes centre frame,

143
00:10:11,920 --> 00:10:14,082
whereas John is always partly
or entirely excluded.

144
00:10:14,160 --> 00:10:16,049
Wait, you can't assume from that

145
00:10:16,120 --> 00:10:18,646
that I've still got some kind of
interest in Mary?

146
00:10:18,720 --> 00:10:20,051
You've volunteered to be
a shoulder to cry on

147
00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:21,485
on no less than
three separate occasions.

148
00:10:21,560 --> 00:10:23,164
Do you have anything
to say in your defence?

149
00:10:25,080 --> 00:10:27,321
I think from now on we'll downgrade you
to casual acquaintance,

150
00:10:27,400 --> 00:10:30,244
no more than three planned
social encounters a year

151
00:10:30,320 --> 00:10:31,481
and always in John's presence.

152
00:10:32,080 --> 00:10:34,651
I have your contact details.
I will be monitoring.

153
00:10:36,480 --> 00:10:40,280
They're right about you.
You're a bloody psychopath.

154
00:10:40,560 --> 00:10:42,483
High-functioning sociopath.

155
00:10:42,560 --> 00:10:44,210
With your number.

156
00:10:58,240 --> 00:10:59,446
Hello.

157
00:11:02,360 --> 00:11:04,249
Thanks for coming, thank you.

158
00:11:04,320 --> 00:11:05,321
Oh.

159
00:11:05,920 --> 00:11:08,890
Yes, um, well done
in the service, Archie.

160
00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:11,167
He's really come out of his shell.
I don't know how you did it.

161
00:11:11,240 --> 00:11:12,765
Um...

162
00:11:17,960 --> 00:11:19,689
Basically, it's a cute smile
to the bride's side,

163
00:11:19,760 --> 00:11:21,330
cute smile to the groom's side
and then the rings.

164
00:11:21,400 --> 00:11:23,243
- No.
- And you have to wear the outfit.

165
00:11:23,320 --> 00:11:25,129
- No.
- You really do have to wear the outfit.

166
00:11:25,200 --> 00:11:26,770
- What for?
- Grownups like that sort of thing.

167
00:11:26,880 --> 00:11:28,006
Why?

168
00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:29,686
I don't know. I'll ask one.

169
00:11:30,920 --> 00:11:33,002
You're a detective?

170
00:11:33,320 --> 00:11:34,321
Yep.

171
00:11:34,400 --> 00:11:36,243
- Have you solved any murders?
- Sure, loads.

172
00:11:36,840 --> 00:11:37,887
Can I see?

173
00:11:39,600 --> 00:11:41,170
Yeah, all right.

174
00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:49,610
What's all that stuff in his eye?

175
00:11:49,680 --> 00:11:50,681
Maggots.

176
00:11:50,760 --> 00:11:53,127
- Cool.
- Hmm.

177
00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:56,326
He said you had some pictures for him
as a treat.

178
00:11:56,400 --> 00:11:58,607
Er, yes, if he's good.

179
00:11:58,680 --> 00:11:59,727
Beheadings.

180
00:11:59,800 --> 00:12:00,801
Lovely little village.

181
00:12:01,040 --> 00:12:02,883
Hmm? What did you say?

182
00:12:08,120 --> 00:12:09,281
Hold it.

183
00:12:11,760 --> 00:12:12,761
Nice.

184
00:12:17,480 --> 00:12:19,448
- Vol-au-vent?
- I'm starving.

185
00:12:19,520 --> 00:12:20,726
- Thanks.
- I had to lose so much weight

186
00:12:20,800 --> 00:12:22,882
- to get into this dress.

187
00:12:23,600 --> 00:12:25,602
Mmm. He's nice.

188
00:12:26,520 --> 00:12:28,329
Traces of two leading
brands of deodorant,

189
00:12:28,400 --> 00:12:29,526
both advertised for their strength.

190
00:12:29,600 --> 00:12:31,011
Suggestive of a chronic
body odour problem

191
00:12:31,080 --> 00:12:32,161
manifesting under stress.

192
00:12:32,240 --> 00:12:34,641
Okay, done there.
What about his friend?

193
00:12:38,280 --> 00:12:40,169
Long-term relationship.
Compulsive cheat.

194
00:12:40,240 --> 00:12:42,163
- Seriously?
- Waterproof cover on the smartphone.

195
00:12:43,560 --> 00:12:45,528
Yet his complexion doesn't indicate
outdoor work.

196
00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:49,846
Suggests he's in the habit of taking
his phone into the shower with him,

197
00:12:49,920 --> 00:12:52,446
which means he often receives texts
and emails he'd rather went unseen.

198
00:12:52,520 --> 00:12:54,204
- Can I keep you?
- Do you like solving crimes?

199
00:12:54,280 --> 00:12:55,327
Do you have a vacancy?

200
00:12:57,720 --> 00:12:59,609
- So, Harry?
- Uh, no, no show.

201
00:12:59,920 --> 00:13:01,001
Darling, I'm so sorry.

202
00:13:01,080 --> 00:13:03,811
Yeah, it was a bit of a punt asking,
I suppose.

203
00:13:03,880 --> 00:13:06,531
Still, free bar,
wouldn't have been a good mix.

204
00:13:09,040 --> 00:13:10,644
Oh. God, wow.

205
00:13:11,560 --> 00:13:12,925
- Is that...
- He came.

206
00:13:17,880 --> 00:13:19,120
So that's him.

207
00:13:19,200 --> 00:13:21,362
- Major Sholto.
- Uh-huh.

208
00:13:24,200 --> 00:13:27,807
If they're such good friends,
why does he barely even mention him?

209
00:13:27,880 --> 00:13:30,008
He mentions him all the time to me.
Never shuts up about him.

210
00:13:31,240 --> 00:13:32,321
- About him?
- Mmm-hmm.

211
00:13:33,360 --> 00:13:35,931
Ugh, I chose this wine.
It's bloody awful.

212
00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:37,525
Yes, but it's definitely him
that he talks about?

213
00:13:37,600 --> 00:13:38,886
Mmm-hmm.

214
00:13:38,960 --> 00:13:42,009
I'm very, very glad to see you, sir.

215
00:13:43,120 --> 00:13:45,885
I know you don't really
do this sort of thing.

216
00:13:45,960 --> 00:13:48,531
Well, I do for old friends, Watson.

217
00:13:48,600 --> 00:13:50,204
John.

218
00:13:50,280 --> 00:13:51,930
- It's good to see you.
- You, too.

219
00:13:55,240 --> 00:13:56,890
Civilian life suiting you, then?

220
00:13:56,960 --> 00:13:59,281
Er, yes, well, I think so, sir.

221
00:13:59,360 --> 00:14:00,646
No more need for the trick cyclist?

222
00:14:00,720 --> 00:14:03,929
No, I go now and then.
Sort of a top-up.

223
00:14:05,040 --> 00:14:07,202
Therapy can be very helpful.

224
00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:11,525
Where are you living these days?

225
00:14:12,200 --> 00:14:15,921
Oh, way out in the middle of nowhere.
You wouldn't know it.

226
00:14:16,200 --> 00:14:18,328
- You look well.
- I've never even heard him say his name.

227
00:14:18,400 --> 00:14:20,004
Well, he's almost a recluse.

228
00:14:20,080 --> 00:14:21,161
- You know, since...
- Yes.

229
00:14:22,040 --> 00:14:23,610
I didn't think he'd show up at all.

230
00:14:23,680 --> 00:14:25,728
John says he's the most unsociable man
he's ever met.

231
00:14:25,800 --> 00:14:27,928
- He is? He's the most unsociable?
- Mmm.

232
00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:30,890
Ah, that's why he's bouncing around him
like a puppy.

233
00:14:31,720 --> 00:14:33,165
Oh, Sherlock.

234
00:14:33,880 --> 00:14:36,281
Neither of us were the first, you know.

235
00:14:36,360 --> 00:14:38,567
- Stop smiling.
- It's my wedding day.

236
00:15:12,480 --> 00:15:13,686
Yes. What?

237
00:15:14,040 --> 00:15:16,281
- Sherlock.
- Why are you out of breath?

238
00:15:17,080 --> 00:15:18,081
Filing.

239
00:15:18,160 --> 00:15:19,400
Either I've caught you
in a compromising position

240
00:15:19,480 --> 00:15:21,926
or you've been working out again.
Favour the latter.

241
00:15:22,160 --> 00:15:24,208
- What do you want?
- I need your answer, Mycroft,

242
00:15:24,280 --> 00:15:25,486
as a matter of urgency.

243
00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:27,643
- Answer?
- Even at the eleventh hour

244
00:15:27,720 --> 00:15:29,404
it's not too late to know.

245
00:15:29,480 --> 00:15:30,686
Oh, Lord.

246
00:15:30,760 --> 00:15:32,330
Cars can be ordered,

247
00:15:32,400 --> 00:15:33,845
private jets commandeered.

248
00:15:33,920 --> 00:15:36,241
Today. It's today, isn't it?

249
00:15:37,200 --> 00:15:38,884
No, Sherlock, I will not be coming

250
00:15:38,960 --> 00:15:41,611
to the "night do",
as you so poetically put it.

251
00:15:41,960 --> 00:15:43,405
What a shame.

252
00:15:43,720 --> 00:15:45,961
Mary and John will be extremely...

253
00:15:46,040 --> 00:15:48,520
Delighted not to have me hanging around.

254
00:15:48,600 --> 00:15:50,011
Oh, I don't know.

255
00:15:50,080 --> 00:15:52,162
There should always be a spectre
at the feast.

256
00:15:53,440 --> 00:15:56,250
So, this is it, then? The big day.

257
00:15:57,400 --> 00:15:59,448
I suppose I'll be seeing
a lot more of you from now on.

258
00:16:00,040 --> 00:16:02,122
- What do you mean?
- It'll be just like old times.

259
00:16:02,200 --> 00:16:03,440
No, I don't understand.

260
00:16:03,520 --> 00:16:05,443
Well, it's the end of an era, isn't it?

261
00:16:05,760 --> 00:16:08,650
John and Mary. Domestic bliss.

262
00:16:08,720 --> 00:16:11,929
No, no, no. I prefer to think of it
as the beginning of a new chapter.

263
00:16:14,760 --> 00:16:15,761
- What?
- Nothing.

264
00:16:15,840 --> 00:16:17,444
I know that silence. What?

265
00:16:17,600 --> 00:16:19,204
Well, I'd better let you get back to it.

266
00:16:19,280 --> 00:16:21,601
You have a big speech
or something, don't you?

267
00:16:21,800 --> 00:16:23,962
- What?
Fakes. Karaoke.

268
00:16:24,680 --> 00:16:25,886
'Mingling,
'MS/croft!

269
00:16:26,160 --> 00:16:29,721
This is what people do, Sherlock.
They get married. I warned you.

270
00:16:29,800 --> 00:16:31,290
Don't get involved.

271
00:16:31,360 --> 00:16:32,566
Involved? I'm not involved.

272
00:16:32,640 --> 00:16:34,608
- No.
- John asked me to be his best man.

273
00:16:34,680 --> 00:16:36,011
- How could I say no?
- Absolutely.

274
00:16:36,080 --> 00:16:37,525
- I'm not involved.
- I believe you.

275
00:16:37,600 --> 00:16:39,011
Really, I do.

276
00:16:39,080 --> 00:16:42,880
Have a lovely day
and do give the happy couple my best.

277
00:16:44,160 --> 00:16:45,161
I will.

278
00:16:45,640 --> 00:16:46,721
Oh, by the way, Sherlock.

279
00:16:46,920 --> 00:16:49,400
Do you remember Redbeard?

280
00:16:52,040 --> 00:16:54,122
I'm not a child any more, Mycroft.

281
00:16:54,200 --> 00:16:55,964
No, of course you're not.

282
00:16:56,320 --> 00:16:58,448
Enjoy not getting involved, Sherlock.

283
00:17:20,800 --> 00:17:22,609
Pray silence for the best man.

284
00:17:30,440 --> 00:17:32,204
Ladies and gentlemen,

285
00:17:32,560 --> 00:17:34,244
family and friends.

286
00:17:35,040 --> 00:17:38,283
And, um...

287
00:17:39,440 --> 00:17:40,646
others.

288
00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:46,843
- Uh...

289
00:17:52,040 --> 00:17:53,530
Also...

290
00:17:57,840 --> 00:17:59,001
- Greg.
- Molly.

291
00:17:59,080 --> 00:18:00,286
I just had a thought.

292
00:18:00,360 --> 00:18:01,407
Is that a brain?

293
00:18:01,480 --> 00:18:04,404
What if John asks Sherlock
to be his best man?

294
00:18:04,480 --> 00:18:06,448
- Well, he will. He's bound to.
- Exactly.

295
00:18:06,520 --> 00:18:09,091
- So?
- So, he'll have to make a speech

296
00:18:09,160 --> 00:18:10,161
in front of people.

297
00:18:10,680 --> 00:18:14,002
There will be actual people there
actually listening.

298
00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:16,650
Well, what's the worst
that could happen?

299
00:18:17,360 --> 00:18:19,442
Helen Louise probably wondered the same.

300
00:18:19,920 --> 00:18:20,921
Helen Louise?

301
00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:28,161
Oh, hello, dear.

302
00:18:28,240 --> 00:18:30,891
I was just thinking,
if John does ask Sherlock...

303
00:18:30,960 --> 00:18:33,804
What, the speech, clear?
I know. It'll be fine.

304
00:18:34,400 --> 00:18:36,801
It's not just the speech, though, is it?

305
00:18:46,880 --> 00:18:47,881
Mrs Hudson?

306
00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:50,486
- Oh, no, darling.
- You all right?

307
00:18:50,560 --> 00:18:52,244
I was going to see Sherlock
and I thought you were...

308
00:18:52,320 --> 00:18:54,402
- No.
- ...possibly dying.

309
00:18:54,480 --> 00:18:55,766
I'm sorry.

310
00:18:57,640 --> 00:18:58,846
What's wrong?

311
00:18:59,400 --> 00:19:00,811
The telegrams.

312
00:19:02,400 --> 00:19:04,721
- Sorry, what?
- Oh, sorry.

313
00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:10,240
The telegrams.

314
00:19:11,960 --> 00:19:13,291
Right, um...

315
00:19:13,360 --> 00:19:15,089
--Mmm.

316
00:19:15,880 --> 00:19:17,530
First things first.

317
00:19:17,600 --> 00:19:18,601
Telegrams.

318
00:19:18,840 --> 00:19:19,841
Well, they're not actually telegrams.

319
00:19:19,920 --> 00:19:21,604
We just call them telegrams,
I don't know why.

320
00:19:21,680 --> 00:19:22,727
Wedding tradition.

321
00:19:23,440 --> 00:19:26,091
Because we don't have enough
of that already, apparently.

322
00:19:26,960 --> 00:19:27,961
"To Mr and Mrs Watson.

323
00:19:28,040 --> 00:19:30,441
"So sorry I'm unable to be with you
on your special day.

324
00:19:30,520 --> 00:19:32,409
"Good luck and best wishes,
Mike Stanford."

325
00:19:32,480 --> 00:19:33,641
- Ah, Mike.
- Aw.

326
00:19:33,720 --> 00:19:35,051
"To John and Mary.

327
00:19:35,120 --> 00:19:37,851
"All good wishes for your special clay.
With love and many big...

328
00:19:38,720 --> 00:19:42,122
"big squishy cuddles
from Stella and Ted."

329
00:19:43,440 --> 00:19:45,886
- "Mary, lots of love..." Oh!

330
00:19:47,840 --> 00:19:49,410
- Yeah?
- "...poppet."

331
00:19:50,280 --> 00:19:53,807
"Oodles of love
and heaps of good wishes from Cam.

332
00:19:54,280 --> 00:19:56,328
"Wish your family could have seen this."

333
00:19:56,400 --> 00:19:58,243
- Hey, hmm?
- Yep.

334
00:19:58,320 --> 00:19:59,651
Um... "Special day."

335
00:20:00,280 --> 00:20:04,490
"Very special day."
"Love." "Love." "Love." "Love."

336
00:20:04,560 --> 00:20:06,050
"Love." Bit of a theme,
you get the general gist.

337
00:20:06,120 --> 00:20:07,406
People are basically fond.

338
00:20:10,080 --> 00:20:11,445
John Watson.

339
00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:16,769
My friend, John Watson.

340
00:20:18,320 --> 00:20:19,446
John.

341
00:20:20,320 --> 00:20:23,608
When John first broached the subject
of being best man, I was confused.

342
00:20:23,840 --> 00:20:26,241
- Sherlock?
- What was that noise downstairs?

343
00:20:26,320 --> 00:20:27,810
Ah, it was Mrs Hudson laughing.

344
00:20:27,880 --> 00:20:29,848
It sounds like she was torturing an owl.

345
00:20:29,920 --> 00:20:31,649
Yeah, well it was laughter.

346
00:20:32,120 --> 00:20:33,246
Could have been both.

347
00:20:34,600 --> 00:20:36,807
- Busy?
- Just occupying myself.

348
00:20:36,880 --> 00:20:39,565
Sometimes it's so hard not smoking.

349
00:20:40,360 --> 00:20:41,850
Mind if I interrupt?

350
00:20:42,240 --> 00:20:43,241
Oh, be my guest.

351
00:20:46,200 --> 00:20:48,328
- Tea?
- Ah...

352
00:20:48,480 --> 00:20:49,720
So.

353
00:20:50,680 --> 00:20:52,011
- The big question.
- Mmm-hmm?

354
00:20:54,080 --> 00:20:55,206
The best man.

355
00:20:56,360 --> 00:20:58,249
- The best man?
- What do you think?

356
00:20:58,320 --> 00:20:59,401
Billy Kincaid.

357
00:21:00,240 --> 00:21:02,049
- Sorry, what?
- Billy Kincaid, the Camden Garrotter.

358
00:21:02,120 --> 00:21:03,121
Best man I ever knew.

359
00:21:03,200 --> 00:21:04,884
Vast contributions to charity
never disclosed.

360
00:21:04,960 --> 00:21:07,406
Personally managed to save
three hospitals from closure,

361
00:21:07,480 --> 00:21:10,051
and ran the best and safest
children's homes in North England.

362
00:21:10,600 --> 00:21:12,728
Yes, every now and again
there would be some garrottings,

363
00:21:12,800 --> 00:21:15,326
but stacking up the lives saved
against the garrottings,

364
00:21:15,400 --> 00:21:16,811
- on balance I'd say...
- For my wedding.

365
00:21:17,760 --> 00:21:19,125
For me. I need a best man.

366
00:21:19,200 --> 00:21:20,201
Oh, right.

367
00:21:20,280 --> 00:21:22,248
- Maybe not a garrotter.
- Gavin?

368
00:21:23,320 --> 00:21:25,049
- Who?
- Gavin Lestrade.

369
00:21:25,120 --> 00:21:27,168
He's a man and good at it.

370
00:21:27,240 --> 00:21:28,651
It's Greg.

371
00:21:28,720 --> 00:21:30,165
And he's not my best friend.

372
00:21:30,640 --> 00:21:32,290
Oh, Mike Stanford, I see.

373
00:21:32,360 --> 00:21:33,930
Well, he's nice, um...

374
00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:35,047
Though I'm not sure
how well he'd cope with...

375
00:21:35,120 --> 00:21:37,771
No, Mike's great,
but he's not my best friend.

376
00:21:40,360 --> 00:21:43,648
Look, Sherlock, this is the biggest
and most important day of my life.

377
00:21:43,720 --> 00:21:45,768
- Well...
- No, it is. It is.

378
00:21:46,120 --> 00:21:48,646
And I want to be up there
with the two people

379
00:21:48,720 --> 00:21:51,041
that I love and care about

380
00:21:51,120 --> 00:21:52,770
- most in the world.
- Yes.

381
00:21:56,200 --> 00:21:57,804
- Mary Morstan...
- Yes.

382
00:22:00,560 --> 00:22:01,607
...and...

383
00:22:06,240 --> 00:22:07,810
You.

384
00:22:09,400 --> 00:22:11,164
I confess at first I didn't realise
he was asking me.

385
00:22:11,240 --> 00:22:12,890
When finally I understood,

386
00:22:12,960 --> 00:22:16,009
I expressed to him that I was
both flattered and surprised.

387
00:22:20,840 --> 00:22:22,968
I explained to him that
I had never expected this request

388
00:22:23,040 --> 00:22:24,849
and I was a little daunted
in the face of it.

389
00:22:25,160 --> 00:22:26,366
Sherlock?

390
00:22:29,960 --> 00:22:32,486
I nonetheless promised that I would do
my very best to accomplish a task

391
00:22:32,560 --> 00:22:34,403
which was, for me,
as demanding and difficult

392
00:22:34,480 --> 00:22:35,925
as any I had ever contemplated.

393
00:22:36,000 --> 00:22:38,128
Additionally, I thanked him
for the trust he placed in me

394
00:22:38,200 --> 00:22:40,965
and indicated that I was, in some ways,

395
00:22:41,040 --> 00:22:43,611
very close to being moved by it.

396
00:22:48,560 --> 00:22:50,050
No, it's getting a bit scary now.

397
00:22:50,120 --> 00:22:52,646
It later transpired that I'd said
none of this out aloud.

398
00:22:59,680 --> 00:23:01,011
So, in fact...

399
00:23:03,800 --> 00:23:05,404
- You-you mean...
- Yes.

400
00:23:07,880 --> 00:23:10,884
I'm your... best...

401
00:23:11,040 --> 00:23:12,246
- Man.
- ...friend?

402
00:23:14,600 --> 00:23:16,841
Yeah, of course you are.

403
00:23:17,920 --> 00:23:20,605
Course you're my best friend.

404
00:23:29,800 --> 00:23:30,847
Well, how was that?

405
00:23:32,800 --> 00:23:34,404
Surprisingly Okay-

406
00:23:37,720 --> 00:23:40,166
So you'll have to make a speech,
of course.

407
00:23:44,200 --> 00:23:46,487
So...

408
00:23:46,840 --> 00:23:49,491
Done that. Done that.

409
00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:51,411
Done that bit. Done that bit.

410
00:23:51,760 --> 00:23:52,841
Done that bit.

411
00:23:56,640 --> 00:23:58,483
I'm afraid, John,
I can't congratulate you.

412
00:23:59,120 --> 00:24:00,690
All emotions, and in particular love,

413
00:24:00,760 --> 00:24:03,730
stand opposed to the pure cold reason
I hold above all things.

414
00:24:04,080 --> 00:24:06,082
A wedding is, in my considered opinion,

415
00:24:06,160 --> 00:24:09,721
nothing short of a celebration of
all that is false and specious

416
00:24:09,800 --> 00:24:11,723
and irrational and sentimental

417
00:24:11,800 --> 00:24:14,007
in this ailing
and morally compromised world.

418
00:24:14,080 --> 00:24:17,368
Today we honour the deathwatch beetle
that is the doom of our society

419
00:24:17,440 --> 00:24:21,490
and in time, one feels certain,
our entire species.

420
00:24:27,920 --> 00:24:29,922
But anyway, let's talk about John.

421
00:24:30,000 --> 00:24:31,570
Please.

422
00:24:31,640 --> 00:24:34,291
If I burden myself with
a little helpmate during my adventures,

423
00:24:34,360 --> 00:24:36,249
it is not out of sentiment or caprice,

424
00:24:36,320 --> 00:24:38,561
it is that he has many
fine qualities of his own

425
00:24:38,640 --> 00:24:40,847
that he has overlooked
in his obsession with me.

426
00:24:40,920 --> 00:24:43,685
Indeed, any reputation I have
for mental acuity and sharpness

427
00:24:43,760 --> 00:24:46,047
comes in truth from
the extraordinary contrast

428
00:24:46,120 --> 00:24:47,804
John so selflessly provides.

429
00:24:47,880 --> 00:24:49,530
It is a fact, I believe,
that brides tend to favour

430
00:24:49,600 --> 00:24:51,921
exceptionally plain bridesmaids
for their big day.

431
00:24:52,000 --> 00:24:54,082
There is a certain
analogy there, I feel.

432
00:24:54,160 --> 00:24:55,605
And contrast is, after all,

433
00:24:55,680 --> 00:24:58,081
God's own plan to enhance
the beauty of his creation.

434
00:24:58,160 --> 00:25:00,845
Or it would be if God were not
a ludicrous fantasy

435
00:25:00,920 --> 00:25:03,651
designed to provide a career opportunity
for the family idiot.

436
00:25:06,880 --> 00:25:09,451
The point I'm trying to make
is that I am

437
00:25:10,080 --> 00:25:14,324
the most unpleasant, rude, ignorant

438
00:25:14,720 --> 00:25:16,210
and all-round obnoxious arsehole

439
00:25:16,280 --> 00:25:19,363
that anyone could possibly have
the misfortune to meet.

440
00:25:19,880 --> 00:25:22,201
I am dismissive of the virtuous,

441
00:25:22,280 --> 00:25:24,567
unaware of the beautiful,

442
00:25:24,640 --> 00:25:27,086
and uncomprehending
in the face of the happy.

443
00:25:28,920 --> 00:25:31,082
So if I didn't understand
I was being asked to be best man,

444
00:25:31,160 --> 00:25:34,050
it is because I never expected to be
anybody's best friend.

445
00:25:35,600 --> 00:25:37,967
And certainly not the best friend

446
00:25:38,040 --> 00:25:41,283
of the bravest and kindest
and wisest human being

447
00:25:41,360 --> 00:25:43,931
I have ever had the good fortune
of knowing.

448
00:25:44,120 --> 00:25:45,326
Aw.

449
00:25:45,400 --> 00:25:47,687
John, I am a ridiculous man.

450
00:25:48,520 --> 00:25:51,808
Redeemed only by the warmth
and constancy of your friendship.

451
00:25:51,880 --> 00:25:53,291
But as I am, apparently,
your best friend,

452
00:25:53,360 --> 00:25:56,603
I cannot congratulate you
on your choice of companion.

453
00:25:59,520 --> 00:26:00,851
Actually, now I can.

454
00:26:02,600 --> 00:26:05,365
Mary, when I say you deserve this man,

455
00:26:05,920 --> 00:26:08,810
it is the highest compliment
of which I am capable.

456
00:26:09,760 --> 00:26:11,842
John, you have endured war

457
00:26:12,680 --> 00:26:13,920
and injury

458
00:26:14,880 --> 00:26:16,166
and tragic loss.

459
00:26:16,640 --> 00:26:18,324
So sorry again about that last one.

460
00:26:18,760 --> 00:26:21,127
So know this. Today you sit between

461
00:26:21,320 --> 00:26:25,166
the woman you have made your wife
and the man you have saved.

462
00:26:25,520 --> 00:26:28,888
In short, the two people who
love you most in all this world.

463
00:26:29,760 --> 00:26:33,207
And I know I speak for Mary as well
when I say we will never let you down

464
00:26:33,280 --> 00:26:35,487
and we have a lifetime ahead
to prove that.

465
00:26:40,240 --> 00:26:42,846
- If I try and hug him, stop me.
- Certainly not.

466
00:26:44,160 --> 00:26:46,731
Ah, yes. Now onto some
funny stories about John.

467
00:26:50,560 --> 00:26:52,130
What's wrong? What happened?
Why are you all doing that?

468
00:26:52,200 --> 00:26:53,326
John?

469
00:26:54,240 --> 00:26:55,366
Oh, Sherlock.

470
00:26:55,720 --> 00:26:56,881
Did I do it wrong?

471
00:26:56,960 --> 00:26:58,644
No, you didn't. Come here.

472
00:27:00,680 --> 00:27:03,001
- I haven't finished yet.
- Yeah, I know. I know.

473
00:27:03,080 --> 00:27:05,970
- So onto some funny stories...
- Can you wait till I sit down?

474
00:27:15,080 --> 00:27:17,321
So onto some funny stories about John.

475
00:27:19,080 --> 00:27:20,366
If you could all just cheer up a bit,
that would...

476
00:27:20,440 --> 00:27:22,442
--...be better.

477
00:27:23,320 --> 00:27:24,321
On we go.

478
00:27:24,400 --> 00:27:28,485
So for funny stories, one has to look
no further than John's blog.

479
00:27:29,880 --> 00:27:31,564
The record of our time together.

480
00:27:31,640 --> 00:27:35,087
Of course, he does tend to romanticise
things a bit but then, you know,

481
00:27:35,160 --> 00:27:36,161
he's a romantic.

482
00:27:36,560 --> 00:27:39,484
We've tackled some strange cases.

483
00:27:39,560 --> 00:27:40,686
The Hollow Client.

484
00:27:48,320 --> 00:27:49,321
The Poisoned Giant.

485
00:27:53,800 --> 00:27:54,801
Get down, John!

486
00:28:01,440 --> 00:28:02,726
We've had some frustrating cases.

487
00:28:08,440 --> 00:28:09,885
What is that?

488
00:28:10,800 --> 00:28:13,121
A French decathlete
found completely out of his mind

489
00:28:13,200 --> 00:28:17,489
surrounded by 1,812 matchboxes,
all empty, except this one.

490
00:28:18,680 --> 00:28:20,842
And what's in that one?

491
00:28:21,680 --> 00:28:23,330
The inexplicable.

492
00:28:26,880 --> 00:28:28,325
Touching cases.

493
00:28:29,920 --> 00:28:31,888
She's going to ring the doorbell.

494
00:28:33,480 --> 00:28:35,403
Oh, no, she's changed her mind.

495
00:28:36,480 --> 00:28:38,926
No, she's going to do it.
No, she's leaving.

496
00:28:40,160 --> 00:28:42,208
- She's leaving.
- Oh, she's coming back.

497
00:28:42,280 --> 00:28:45,250
She's a client, she's boring.
I've seen those symptoms before.

498
00:28:45,320 --> 00:28:46,401
Hmm?

499
00:28:46,480 --> 00:28:50,041
Oscillation on the pavement
always means there's a love affair.

500
00:28:50,120 --> 00:28:52,361
And of course, I have to mention
The Elephant in the Room.

501
00:28:57,600 --> 00:29:02,527
But we want something very particular
for this special day, don't we?

502
00:29:04,760 --> 00:29:06,250
The Bloody Guardsman.

503
00:29:08,920 --> 00:29:10,524
Need to work on your half
of the church, Mary.

504
00:29:11,440 --> 00:29:13,408
- Looking a bit thin.
- Oh.

505
00:29:13,480 --> 00:29:14,481
Orphan's lot.

506
00:29:14,560 --> 00:29:16,528
Friends, that's all I have.
Lots of friends.

507
00:29:16,600 --> 00:29:19,080
Schedule the organ music
to begin at precisely 11:48."

508
00:29:19,160 --> 00:29:21,288
But the rehearsal's not for
another two weeks. Just calm down.

509
00:29:21,360 --> 00:29:23,203
Calm? I am calm, I'm extremely calm.

510
00:29:23,360 --> 00:29:25,442
Let's get back to the reception.
Come on.

511
00:29:25,520 --> 00:29:27,090
John's cousin, top table?

512
00:29:27,160 --> 00:29:29,128
Hmm, hates you.
Can't even bear to think about you.

513
00:29:30,200 --> 00:29:31,929
- Seriously?
- Second-class post.

514
00:29:32,320 --> 00:29:33,526
Cheap card.

515
00:29:33,600 --> 00:29:34,965
Bought at a petrol station.
Look at the stamp.

516
00:29:35,040 --> 00:29:36,041
Three attempts at licking.

517
00:29:36,120 --> 00:29:38,361
She's obviously unconsciously
retaining saliva.

518
00:29:38,600 --> 00:29:39,965
Aw, let's stick her by the bogs.

519
00:29:40,040 --> 00:29:41,769
- Oh, yes.

520
00:29:43,160 --> 00:29:44,321
Who else hates me?

521
00:29:47,160 --> 00:29:48,446
Oh, great. Thanks.

522
00:29:48,520 --> 00:29:51,649
"Priceless painting nicked."
Looks interesting.

523
00:29:51,720 --> 00:29:52,721
- Table four?
- Done.

524
00:29:52,800 --> 00:29:54,564
"My husband is three people."

525
00:29:54,640 --> 00:29:57,041
- Table five?
- Major James Sholto. Who he?

526
00:29:57,120 --> 00:29:59,691
Oh, John's old commanding officer.
I don't think he's coming.

527
00:29:59,760 --> 00:30:01,762
- He'll be there.
- Well, he needs to RSVP, then.

528
00:30:01,840 --> 00:30:02,841
He'll be there.

529
00:30:03,160 --> 00:30:05,367
"My husband is three people."
It's interesting.

530
00:30:06,440 --> 00:30:09,125
Says he has three distinct patterns
of moles on his skin.

531
00:30:09,320 --> 00:30:10,845
Identical triplets.
One in half a million births.

532
00:30:10,920 --> 00:30:11,967
Solved it without leaving the flat.

533
00:30:12,040 --> 00:30:13,087
Now, serviettes.

534
00:30:14,440 --> 00:30:15,646
Swan or Sydney Opera House?

535
00:30:15,720 --> 00:30:16,767
Where did you learn to do that?

536
00:30:16,840 --> 00:30:19,207
Many unexpected skills required
in the field of criminal investigation.

537
00:30:19,280 --> 00:30:21,089
- Fibbing, Sherlock.
- I once broke an alibi

538
00:30:21,160 --> 00:30:23,162
by demonstrating
the exact severity of...

539
00:30:23,240 --> 00:30:24,366
I'm not John.
I can tell when you're fibbing.

540
00:30:24,440 --> 00:30:25,885
Okay. I learnt it on YouTube.

541
00:30:25,960 --> 00:30:28,531
Opera House, please.
Oh, hang on. I'm buzzing.

542
00:30:29,640 --> 00:30:30,766
Hello?

543
00:30:31,400 --> 00:30:34,051
Oh, hi, Beth.

544
00:30:35,120 --> 00:30:37,361
Yeah, yeah, I don't see why not.

545
00:30:37,880 --> 00:30:40,281
Actually, if that's Beth,
it's probably for me, too. Hang on.

546
00:30:45,680 --> 00:30:47,045
He knows we don't have
a friend called Beth.

547
00:30:47,120 --> 00:30:48,406
He's going to figure out that it's code.

548
00:30:48,480 --> 00:30:50,005
- He's YouTubing serviettes.
- He's thorough.

549
00:30:50,080 --> 00:30:51,366
- He's terrified.
- Of course he's not.

550
00:30:51,440 --> 00:30:52,885
Right, you know when you're
scared of something,

551
00:30:52,960 --> 00:30:54,928
you start wishing it sooner
just to get it all going?

552
00:30:55,000 --> 00:30:56,047
That's what he's doing.

553
00:30:56,120 --> 00:30:58,487
Why would he be scared
that we're getting married?

554
00:30:58,560 --> 00:31:00,449
It's not going to change anything.
We'll still do stuff.

555
00:31:00,520 --> 00:31:02,807
We need to prove it to him.
I told you to find him a new case.

556
00:31:02,880 --> 00:31:04,644
- I'm trying.
- You need to run him, okay?

557
00:31:04,720 --> 00:31:06,961
Show him it's still the good old days.

558
00:31:16,400 --> 00:31:18,448
That just sort of happened.

559
00:31:21,160 --> 00:31:22,650
Sherlock, um...

560
00:31:24,120 --> 00:31:25,246
mate.

561
00:31:26,560 --> 00:31:27,607
I've...

562
00:31:28,320 --> 00:31:31,290
I've smelled
18 different perfumes.

563
00:31:32,400 --> 00:31:33,731
I've sampled

564
00:31:34,320 --> 00:31:38,006
nine different slices of cake,
which all tasted identical.

565
00:31:38,080 --> 00:31:39,844
I like the bridesmaids in purple.

566
00:31:39,920 --> 00:31:41,365
- Lilac.
- Lilac.

567
00:31:42,040 --> 00:31:43,963
Um, there are no more decisions
left to make.

568
00:31:44,040 --> 00:31:47,089
I don't even understand the decisions
that we have made.

569
00:31:47,160 --> 00:31:49,208
I'm faking opinions and it's exhausting.

570
00:31:49,280 --> 00:31:51,362
So please, before she comes back...

571
00:31:53,920 --> 00:31:54,967
...pick something.

572
00:31:56,520 --> 00:31:58,727
- Anything, pick one.
- Pick what?

573
00:31:59,720 --> 00:32:01,006
A case.

574
00:32:01,200 --> 00:32:03,328
Your inbox is bursting. Just...

575
00:32:04,080 --> 00:32:05,127
get me out of here.

576
00:32:05,200 --> 00:32:07,441
You want to go out on a case? Now?

577
00:32:07,520 --> 00:32:08,726
Please.

578
00:32:09,080 --> 00:32:10,241
Sherlock, for me.

579
00:32:12,280 --> 00:32:13,964
Don't you worry about anything.
I'll get you out of this.

580
00:32:15,760 --> 00:32:16,807
Oh.

581
00:32:17,880 --> 00:32:20,690
Dear, Mr Holmes, my name is Bainbridge.

582
00:32:20,760 --> 00:32:23,445
I'm a private in
Her Majesty's Household Guard.

583
00:32:23,520 --> 00:32:25,170
I'm writing to you
about a personal matter,

584
00:32:25,240 --> 00:32:27,686
one I don't care to bring
before my superiors,

585
00:32:27,760 --> 00:32:29,444
it would sound so trivial.

586
00:32:30,440 --> 00:32:32,044
But I think someone 3 stalking me.

587
00:32:32,560 --> 00:32:34,881
I'm used to tourists,
it's part of the job.

588
00:32:34,960 --> 00:32:36,724
But this is different.

589
00:32:36,800 --> 00:32:37,847
Someone 3 watching me.

590
00:32:41,480 --> 00:32:43,721
He's taking pictures of me every day.

591
00:32:44,480 --> 00:32:45,561
I don't want to mention it
to the manager

592
00:32:45,640 --> 00:32:47,802
but if? really praying on my mind.

593
00:32:52,440 --> 00:32:55,125
Uniform fetishist.
All the nice girls like a soldier.

594
00:32:55,200 --> 00:32:56,565
It's sailor.

595
00:32:56,640 --> 00:32:59,325
And Bainbridge thinks
his stalker is a bloke.

596
00:32:59,400 --> 00:33:00,640
Let's go and investigate.

597
00:33:01,240 --> 00:33:02,480
- Please?
- Elite guard.

598
00:33:02,560 --> 00:33:03,891
Forty enlisted men and officers.

599
00:33:03,960 --> 00:33:06,327
Why this particular grenadier? Curious.

600
00:33:06,400 --> 00:33:08,289
- Now you're talking.
- Okay.

601
00:33:08,360 --> 00:33:09,885
--Bye.

602
00:33:09,960 --> 00:33:10,961
Uh, we're just going to...

603
00:33:11,040 --> 00:33:14,089
I need, um, Sherlock to help me
choose some...

604
00:33:14,560 --> 00:33:15,971
- Tie.
- ...socks.

605
00:33:16,160 --> 00:33:17,605
- Why don't we go with socks?
- Yeah.

606
00:33:17,680 --> 00:33:18,681
I mean, you've got to get
the right ones.

607
00:33:18,760 --> 00:33:20,171
Exactly. To go with my...

608
00:33:20,240 --> 00:33:21,401
- Tie.
- ...outfit.

609
00:33:21,480 --> 00:33:23,528
Well, it'll take a while,
right?

610
00:33:23,720 --> 00:33:25,643
- My coat in there?
- Yes.

611
00:33:27,760 --> 00:33:29,524
Just going to take him out for a bit.

612
00:33:29,600 --> 00:33:30,965
- Run him.
- I know.

613
00:33:31,040 --> 00:33:32,087
You said you'd find him a case.

614
00:33:32,800 --> 00:33:34,245
- Coming, Sherlock?
- Coming.

615
00:33:42,600 --> 00:33:43,726
Taxi!

616
00:33:58,560 --> 00:34:00,688
Company, halt!

617
00:34:05,400 --> 00:34:07,402
Right turn!

618
00:34:08,520 --> 00:34:10,329
We're here to see
Private Steven Bainbridge.

619
00:34:10,400 --> 00:34:12,368
He's on duty right now, sir.

620
00:34:12,440 --> 00:34:13,680
I'll certainly let him know
when he's free.

621
00:34:14,640 --> 00:34:15,721
And when will that be?

622
00:34:16,560 --> 00:34:17,607
Another hour.

623
00:34:31,720 --> 00:34:33,688
You think
they give them classes?

624
00:34:33,760 --> 00:34:34,761
Classes?

625
00:34:35,000 --> 00:34:38,004
How to resist the temptation
to scratch their behinds.

626
00:34:38,600 --> 00:34:41,410
Afferent neurons
in the peripheral nervous system.

627
00:34:42,600 --> 00:34:44,125
- Bum itch.
- Oh.

628
00:34:49,520 --> 00:34:51,761
So why don't you see him any more?

629
00:34:51,840 --> 00:34:54,525
- Who?
- Your previous commander, Sholto.

630
00:34:55,920 --> 00:34:57,888
- Previous commander?
- I meant ex.

631
00:34:58,600 --> 00:35:00,250
"Previous" suggests that
I currently have a commander.

632
00:35:00,320 --> 00:35:01,731
- Which you don't.
- Which I don't.

633
00:35:01,800 --> 00:35:03,165
Of course you don't.

634
00:35:03,800 --> 00:35:05,370
He was decorated, wasn't he?

635
00:35:05,440 --> 00:35:07,568
- A war hero.
- Not to everyone.

636
00:35:08,680 --> 00:35:10,603
He led a team of crows into battle.

637
00:35:10,680 --> 00:35:12,444
- Crows?
- New recruits.

638
00:35:12,520 --> 00:35:14,602
It's standard procedure,
break the new boys in,

639
00:35:14,680 --> 00:35:16,364
but it went wrong.

640
00:35:17,160 --> 00:35:19,766
They all died.
He was the only survivor.

641
00:35:19,840 --> 00:35:21,251
The press and the families
gave him hell.

642
00:35:21,320 --> 00:35:22,401
He gets more death threats than you.

643
00:35:22,600 --> 00:35:24,125
Oh, I wouldn't count on that.

644
00:35:24,200 --> 00:35:27,204
Why have you suddenly taken an interest
in another human being?

645
00:35:28,480 --> 00:35:29,641
I'm chatting.

646
00:35:34,280 --> 00:35:35,725
Won't be trying that again.

647
00:35:35,800 --> 00:35:37,962
Changing the subject completely...

648
00:35:40,320 --> 00:35:44,166
You know it won't alter anything, right?
Me and Mary getting married.

649
00:35:45,040 --> 00:35:46,371
We'll still be doing all this.

650
00:35:46,440 --> 00:35:47,441
Oh, good.

651
00:35:47,520 --> 00:35:48,851
If you were worried.

652
00:35:48,920 --> 00:35:50,410
I wasn't worried.

653
00:35:55,000 --> 00:35:56,764
The thing about Mary,

654
00:35:57,320 --> 00:36:00,085
she has completely
turned my life around.

655
00:36:01,800 --> 00:36:03,529
Changed everything.

656
00:36:04,560 --> 00:36:06,130
But for the record,

657
00:36:06,200 --> 00:36:10,091
over the last few years, there are
two people who have done that and...

658
00:36:11,120 --> 00:36:12,929
the other one is...

659
00:36:13,000 --> 00:36:14,445
a complete dickhead.

660
00:37:46,880 --> 00:37:48,484
Can I ask what this is
in connection with?

661
00:37:48,720 --> 00:37:52,486
Private Bainbridge contacted us
about a personal matter, sir.

662
00:37:52,760 --> 00:37:55,331
Nothing's personal
when it concerns my troops.

663
00:37:56,600 --> 00:38:00,047
- What do you really want?
- I'm here on a legitimate enquiry.

664
00:38:00,440 --> 00:38:01,680
You press?

665
00:38:02,360 --> 00:38:04,283
Digging for some bloody
royal story or something?

666
00:38:04,360 --> 00:38:05,885
No, sir, I'm...

667
00:38:06,600 --> 00:38:08,568
Captain John Watson,
Fifth Northumberland Fusiliers...

668
00:38:08,640 --> 00:38:09,846
Retired.

669
00:38:11,320 --> 00:38:13,288
You could be a used car salesman now,
for all I know.

670
00:38:16,240 --> 00:38:17,651
--Bainbridge?

671
00:38:17,720 --> 00:38:19,722
Gentleman here to see you.

672
00:38:21,120 --> 00:38:22,406
Bainbridge!

673
00:38:31,320 --> 00:38:32,560
I know you, don't I?

674
00:38:33,240 --> 00:38:34,287
Hmm?

675
00:38:37,080 --> 00:38:38,889
I've seen you in the papers.

676
00:38:40,160 --> 00:38:43,721
Hanging around with that detective,
the one with the silly hat.

677
00:38:45,480 --> 00:38:47,448
What the hell does Bainbridge want
with a detective?

678
00:38:47,720 --> 00:38:49,210
I'm afraid I'm not at liberty to say.

679
00:38:49,280 --> 00:38:51,851
You're not at liberty to say?
He's a soldier in my regiment.

680
00:38:51,920 --> 00:38:54,526
I'll be damned if he's going to get up
to cloak-and-dagger nonsense like this.

681
00:38:54,600 --> 00:38:55,886
--Sir.

682
00:38:56,680 --> 00:38:57,886
- Sir.
- What's going on?

683
00:38:57,960 --> 00:38:59,883
It's Bainbridge, sir. He's dead.

684
00:39:09,240 --> 00:39:11,049
MY God!

685
00:39:13,760 --> 00:39:15,524
Let me take a look, sir, I'm a doctor.

686
00:39:15,600 --> 00:39:16,726
What?

687
00:39:16,960 --> 00:39:17,961
Sergeant, arrest this man.

688
00:39:18,080 --> 00:39:19,366
What? No, no, I'm a doctor.

689
00:39:19,440 --> 00:39:20,771
Oh, you're a doctor now, too?

690
00:39:20,840 --> 00:39:22,683
- Sergeant.
- Let me examine him, please.

691
00:39:22,760 --> 00:39:24,649
Sir, caught this one snooping around.

692
00:39:25,480 --> 00:39:26,925
Is that what this is all about?

693
00:39:27,000 --> 00:39:29,890
Distracting me so that this man
could get in here and kill Bainbridge?

694
00:39:29,960 --> 00:39:31,485
Kill him with what? Where's the weapon?

695
00:39:31,720 --> 00:39:32,721
- What?
- Where's the weapon?

696
00:39:32,800 --> 00:39:34,245
Go on, search me, no weapon.

697
00:39:34,520 --> 00:39:37,171
Bainbridge was on parade.
He came off duty five minutes ago.

698
00:39:37,240 --> 00:39:38,366
When's this supposed to have happened?

699
00:39:38,440 --> 00:39:40,522
You obviously stabbed him
before he got into the shower.

700
00:39:40,600 --> 00:39:42,090
- No.
- No?

701
00:39:42,160 --> 00:39:44,208
He's soaking wet
and there's still shampoo in his hair.

702
00:39:44,280 --> 00:39:46,089
He got into the shower
and then someone stabbed him.

703
00:39:46,160 --> 00:39:47,810
But the cubicle was locked
from the inside, sir.

704
00:39:47,880 --> 00:39:48,881
I had to break it open.

705
00:39:49,040 --> 00:39:50,405
Must have climbed over the top.

706
00:39:50,480 --> 00:39:52,130
Well, then I'd be soaking wet, too,
wouldn't I?

707
00:39:52,200 --> 00:39:55,886
Major, please. I'm John Watson,
Fifth Northumberland Fusiliers.

708
00:39:55,960 --> 00:39:57,086
Three years in Afghanistan,

709
00:39:57,160 --> 00:39:59,970
a veteran of Kandahar, Helmand
and Barts bloody Hospital!

710
00:40:00,040 --> 00:40:01,724
Let me examine this body!

711
00:40:08,960 --> 00:40:10,041
Thank you.

712
00:40:11,120 --> 00:40:12,610
- Suicide?
- No.

713
00:40:13,000 --> 00:40:14,490
The weapon again, no knife.

714
00:40:16,960 --> 00:40:20,931
Here we are.
There is a wound to the abdomen.

715
00:40:22,000 --> 00:40:23,411
Incredibly fine.

716
00:40:23,680 --> 00:40:24,681
Man stabbed to death.

717
00:40:25,280 --> 00:40:27,647
No murder weapon.
Door locked from the inside.

718
00:40:28,520 --> 00:40:29,931
Only one way in or out of here.

719
00:40:30,000 --> 00:40:31,206
- Sherlock.
- Mmm?

720
00:40:31,880 --> 00:40:34,087
- He's still breathing.
- Oh, my God.

721
00:40:34,160 --> 00:40:35,491
- What do we do?
- Give me your scarf.

722
00:40:35,560 --> 00:40:37,164
- What?
- Quickly, now.

723
00:40:37,800 --> 00:40:39,040
- Call an ambulance.
- What?

724
00:40:39,120 --> 00:40:40,690
Callao ambulance now!

725
00:40:41,560 --> 00:40:42,607
Do it!

726
00:40:42,680 --> 00:40:44,489
Nurse, press here, hard.

727
00:40:44,680 --> 00:40:46,045
- Nurse?
- Yeah, I'm making do.

728
00:40:46,280 --> 00:40:47,805
Keep pressure on that wound.

729
00:40:48,000 --> 00:40:50,128
Steven? Steven, stay with me.

730
00:40:52,000 --> 00:40:54,401
Private Bainbridge had just
come off guard duty.

731
00:40:54,480 --> 00:40:56,482
He'd stood there for hours,
plenty of people watching,

732
00:40:56,560 --> 00:40:57,971
nothing apparently wrong.

733
00:40:58,040 --> 00:41:00,691
He came off duty
and within minutes was nearly dead

734
00:41:00,760 --> 00:41:04,242
from a wound in his stomach
but there was no weapon.

735
00:41:04,840 --> 00:41:05,887
Where did it go?

736
00:41:05,960 --> 00:41:07,849
Ladies and gentlemen,
I invite you to consider this.

737
00:41:07,920 --> 00:41:09,968
A murderer who can walk through walls.

738
00:41:10,040 --> 00:41:11,610
A weapon that can vanish.

739
00:41:11,800 --> 00:41:13,802
But in all of this,
there is only one element

740
00:41:13,880 --> 00:41:16,690
which can be said to be
truly remarkable.

741
00:41:18,080 --> 00:41:20,811
Would anyone like to make a guess?

742
00:41:23,440 --> 00:41:26,887
Come on, come on. There is actually
an element of Q&A to all of this.

743
00:41:30,600 --> 00:41:33,206
Scotland Yard, have you got a theory?

744
00:41:33,920 --> 00:41:37,083
Yeah, you. You're a detective,
broadly speaking. Got a theory?

745
00:41:37,160 --> 00:41:38,764
Er, um...

746
00:41:38,840 --> 00:41:42,765
If the blade
was propelled through the, um...

747
00:41:44,960 --> 00:41:46,928
grating in the air vent...

748
00:41:47,240 --> 00:41:50,369
Maybe a ballista or a catapult,

749
00:41:50,440 --> 00:41:52,522
somebody tiny could crawl in there.

750
00:41:53,320 --> 00:41:55,448
So yeah, we're looking for a dwarf.

751
00:41:56,680 --> 00:41:57,681
- Brilliant.
- Really?

752
00:41:57,760 --> 00:41:58,761
No.

753
00:41:58,840 --> 00:42:00,808
- Next.
- He stabbed himself.

754
00:42:00,880 --> 00:42:03,531
Hello, who was that? Tom.

755
00:42:06,920 --> 00:42:07,921
Got a theory?

756
00:42:10,120 --> 00:42:15,490
Um, attempted suicide with a blade
made of compacted blood and bone.

757
00:42:16,080 --> 00:42:19,163
Broke after piercing his abdomen,
like a meat...

758
00:42:20,760 --> 00:42:21,761
dagger.

759
00:42:22,120 --> 00:42:23,929
- A meat dagger?
- Yes.

760
00:42:24,640 --> 00:42:26,005
Sit down.

761
00:42:26,640 --> 00:42:27,641
No.

762
00:42:28,960 --> 00:42:31,930
There was one feature
and only one feature of interest

763
00:42:32,000 --> 00:42:33,809
in the whole of this baffling case

764
00:42:33,880 --> 00:42:36,247
and quite frankly, it was the usual.

765
00:42:36,320 --> 00:42:37,401
John Watson.

766
00:42:37,960 --> 00:42:39,564
Who, while I was trying
to solve the murder,

767
00:42:39,640 --> 00:42:41,404
instead saved a life.

768
00:42:42,960 --> 00:42:46,760
There are mysteries worth solving
and stories worth telling.

769
00:42:48,200 --> 00:42:49,565
The best and bravest man I know

770
00:42:49,640 --> 00:42:51,529
and on top of that
he actually knows how to do stuff.

771
00:42:52,680 --> 00:42:54,762
Except wedding planning and serviettes,
he's rubbish at those.

772
00:42:55,960 --> 00:42:57,610
The case itself remains
the most ingenious

773
00:42:57,680 --> 00:42:59,887
and brilliantly planned murder
or attempted murder

774
00:42:59,960 --> 00:43:02,167
I've ever had the pleasure to encounter.

775
00:43:02,240 --> 00:43:05,449
The most perfect locked-room mystery
of which I am aware.

776
00:43:06,320 --> 00:43:07,765
However, I'm not just here
to praise John,

777
00:43:07,840 --> 00:43:10,161
I'm also here embarrass him,
so let's move on to some...

778
00:43:10,240 --> 00:43:11,366
No, wait. So how was it done?

779
00:43:11,440 --> 00:43:13,283
- How was what done?
- The stabbing.

780
00:43:15,920 --> 00:43:17,285
I'm afraid I don't know.

781
00:43:17,360 --> 00:43:19,328
I didn't solve that one, that's...

782
00:43:19,720 --> 00:43:23,122
It can happen sometimes. It's very...
Very disappointing.

783
00:43:23,880 --> 00:43:26,042
Embarrassment leads me on
to the stag night.

784
00:43:26,440 --> 00:43:27,930
Course, there's hours of material here,

785
00:43:28,000 --> 00:43:29,968
but I've cut it down
to the really good bits.

786
00:43:31,840 --> 00:43:33,251
Murder scenes.

787
00:43:34,200 --> 00:43:36,487
Locations of murders?

788
00:43:36,560 --> 00:43:37,846
Mmm, pub crawl, themed.

789
00:43:37,920 --> 00:43:39,809
Yeah, but why can't you just do
Underground stations?

790
00:43:40,560 --> 00:43:42,005
It lacks the personal touch.

791
00:43:42,080 --> 00:43:43,241
We're going to go for a drink in...

792
00:43:43,320 --> 00:43:45,209
In every street
where you've found a corpse.

793
00:43:45,280 --> 00:43:46,486
Delightful.

794
00:43:46,560 --> 00:43:48,324
- Where do I come in?
- Don't want to get ill.

795
00:43:48,400 --> 00:43:49,731
That would ruin it, spoil the mood.

796
00:43:49,880 --> 00:43:52,326
You're a graduate chemist,
can't you just work it out?

797
00:43:52,400 --> 00:43:54,084
I like the practical experience.

798
00:43:55,800 --> 00:43:57,325
Meaning you think I like a drink?

799
00:43:57,400 --> 00:43:58,765
- Occasionally.
- That I'm a drunk?

800
00:43:58,840 --> 00:43:59,887
No. No!

801
00:44:04,240 --> 00:44:06,049
You look well.

802
00:44:07,240 --> 00:44:09,527
- I am.
- How's...

803
00:44:12,800 --> 00:44:13,801
Tom?

804
00:44:13,880 --> 00:44:15,882
- Not a sociopath.
- Still? Good.

805
00:44:15,960 --> 00:44:18,691
And we're having quite a lot of sex.

806
00:44:20,800 --> 00:44:21,801
Okay.

807
00:44:22,480 --> 00:44:24,721
I want you to calculate
John's ideal intake and mine

808
00:44:24,800 --> 00:44:26,484
to remain in the sweet spot
the whole evening.

809
00:44:26,680 --> 00:44:30,207
- Lightheaded good.
- Urinating in wardrobes bad.

810
00:44:30,480 --> 00:44:31,561
Hmm.

811
00:44:31,640 --> 00:44:34,484
Two, er, beers, please.

812
00:44:34,560 --> 00:44:37,450
- Pints?
- 443.7 millilitres.

813
00:44:41,160 --> 00:44:42,161
Ah...

814
00:44:48,480 --> 00:44:50,130
- What, we're on a schedule?
- You'll thank me.

815
00:45:07,080 --> 00:45:08,684
- Cheers.
- Cheers.

816
00:45:14,720 --> 00:45:16,404
- Over there.
- What?

817
00:45:16,480 --> 00:45:18,050
Toilets. Any second now, you'll get...

818
00:45:18,120 --> 00:45:19,565
Hang on. Tell me after. I need the loo.

819
00:45:19,640 --> 00:45:20,721
Mmm. On schedule.

820
00:45:21,280 --> 00:45:22,884
- Eh?
- Nothing. Go.

821
00:45:29,000 --> 00:45:30,206
- How long?
- Sorry?

822
00:45:30,280 --> 00:45:31,566
Your visit.

823
00:45:32,600 --> 00:45:34,967
If you could estimate
approximate volume discharge...

824
00:45:35,040 --> 00:45:36,451
Stop talking now.

825
00:45:40,560 --> 00:45:41,561
Oh.

826
00:45:41,640 --> 00:45:44,007
Quick, one more. He mustn't see.

827
00:45:53,760 --> 00:45:55,250
There you go.

828
00:45:55,560 --> 00:45:56,607
Cheers.

829
00:45:59,560 --> 00:46:00,766
I know Ash!

830
00:46:01,400 --> 00:46:04,165
Don't tell me I don't.

831
00:46:07,920 --> 00:46:10,082
That is enough! That is...

832
00:46:13,640 --> 00:46:14,641
Ashton.

833
00:46:15,160 --> 00:46:16,400
I know Ashton!

834
00:46:22,480 --> 00:46:25,051
I have an international reputation.

835
00:46:26,720 --> 00:46:29,371
Do you have an international reputation?

836
00:46:29,440 --> 00:46:31,841
No, I don't have
an international reputation.

837
00:46:31,920 --> 00:46:32,967
No.

838
00:46:35,200 --> 00:46:37,328
And I can't even remember what for.

839
00:46:38,440 --> 00:46:39,441
It's...

840
00:46:40,400 --> 00:46:42,880
crime, something like that.

841
00:46:47,280 --> 00:46:48,406
Oh.

842
00:46:48,480 --> 00:46:50,608
What are you doing back?
I thought you were going to be out late?

843
00:46:50,680 --> 00:46:53,206
Ah, Hudders. What time is it?

844
00:46:54,440 --> 00:46:56,363
You've only been out two hours.

845
00:47:08,040 --> 00:47:09,041
Am I a vegetable?

846
00:47:09,880 --> 00:47:12,326
You or the...

847
00:47:13,240 --> 00:47:14,446
Funny.

848
00:47:15,080 --> 00:47:16,525
- Thank you.
- Come on.

849
00:47:16,600 --> 00:47:19,046
- No, you're not a vegetable.
- It's your go.

850
00:47:20,680 --> 00:47:22,284
Uh...

851
00:47:22,360 --> 00:47:23,646
Am I human?

852
00:47:24,720 --> 00:47:25,801
Sometimes.

853
00:47:25,880 --> 00:47:27,609
Can't have sometimes. Has to be, um...

854
00:47:27,680 --> 00:47:28,727
Yes, you're human.

855
00:47:28,800 --> 00:47:31,041
Yes, I know. And am I man?

856
00:47:31,680 --> 00:47:33,091
- Yep.
- Ta ll?

857
00:47:34,680 --> 00:47:36,011
Not as tall as people think.

858
00:47:36,080 --> 00:47:37,445
Hmm. Nice?

859
00:47:38,800 --> 00:47:40,290
- Ish.
- Clever?

860
00:47:40,360 --> 00:47:42,249
- I'd say so.
- You would.

861
00:47:43,440 --> 00:47:44,521
Am I important?

862
00:47:44,600 --> 00:47:46,090
To some people.

863
00:47:46,160 --> 00:47:48,731
Do "people" like me?

864
00:47:49,720 --> 00:47:51,051
Er, no, they don't.

865
00:47:51,120 --> 00:47:53,646
You tend to rub them up the wrong way.

866
00:47:53,720 --> 00:47:55,165
- Okay.

867
00:47:55,640 --> 00:47:56,926
Am I the current King of England?

868
00:47:57,000 --> 00:47:58,331
We...

869
00:47:59,960 --> 00:48:01,803
You know we don't have a king.

870
00:48:01,880 --> 00:48:03,086
- Don't we?
- No.

871
00:48:03,320 --> 00:48:04,321
Your go.

872
00:48:12,160 --> 00:48:13,321
I don't mind.

873
00:48:13,800 --> 00:48:15,165
Am I a woman?

874
00:48:18,440 --> 00:48:19,487
What?

875
00:48:20,000 --> 00:48:21,047
Yes.

876
00:48:21,120 --> 00:48:23,851
Am I pretty?

877
00:48:25,360 --> 00:48:26,441
This.

878
00:48:28,360 --> 00:48:31,364
Beauty is a construct
based entirely on childhood impressions,

879
00:48:31,440 --> 00:48:32,965
influences and role models.

880
00:48:34,200 --> 00:48:36,362
Yeah, but am I a pretty lady?

881
00:48:39,320 --> 00:48:41,368
I don't know who you are.
I don't know who you're supposed to be.

882
00:48:41,440 --> 00:48:42,601
You picked the name!

883
00:48:42,680 --> 00:48:45,286
Yeah, but I picked it
at random from the papers.

884
00:48:45,560 --> 00:48:48,450
You're not really getting the hang
of this game, are you, Sherlock?

885
00:48:48,520 --> 00:48:51,410
So I am human,
I'm not as tall as people think I am.

886
00:48:51,480 --> 00:48:53,847
I'm... I'm nice-ish.

887
00:48:54,240 --> 00:48:56,607
Clever. Important to some people.

888
00:48:56,880 --> 00:48:59,201
But I tend to rub them up
the wrong way.

889
00:49:01,320 --> 00:49:02,606
- Got it.
- Go on, then.

890
00:49:02,680 --> 00:49:03,841
I'm you, aren't I?

891
00:49:04,560 --> 00:49:05,607
Client!

892
00:49:05,840 --> 00:49:06,887
Client.

893
00:49:07,720 --> 00:49:09,324
- Hello.
- Hello.

894
00:49:09,400 --> 00:49:10,401
Come.

895
00:49:10,560 --> 00:49:12,483
Which one of you is Sherlock Holmes?

896
00:49:18,320 --> 00:49:19,606
I don't a lot.

897
00:49:19,680 --> 00:49:23,730
I mean, I don't
date all that much and...

898
00:49:24,360 --> 00:49:27,489
He seemed nice, you know?

899
00:49:27,560 --> 00:49:30,006
We seemed to automatically connect.

900
00:49:30,720 --> 00:49:32,768
We had one night, dinner.

901
00:49:33,400 --> 00:49:38,122
Such interesting conversation,
it was lovely.

902
00:49:38,200 --> 00:49:39,884
To be honest,

903
00:49:39,960 --> 00:49:43,726
I'd love to have gone further
but I thought,

904
00:49:44,040 --> 00:49:46,327
"No, this is special.

905
00:49:46,520 --> 00:49:49,649
"Let's take it slowly.
Exchange numbers."

906
00:49:49,720 --> 00:49:51,961
He said he'd get in touch and then...

907
00:49:55,640 --> 00:49:58,849
Maybe he wasn't quite

908
00:49:59,280 --> 00:50:02,443
as keen as I was but I...

909
00:50:02,880 --> 00:50:07,920
I just thought at least he'd call to say
that we were finished.

910
00:50:15,720 --> 00:50:17,370
I went round there.

911
00:50:18,320 --> 00:50:20,163
To his flat. No trace of him.

912
00:50:21,360 --> 00:50:24,364
Mr Holmes, I honestly think

913
00:50:25,280 --> 00:50:29,080
I had dinner with a ghost.

914
00:50:33,480 --> 00:50:34,561
Mr Holmes?

915
00:50:40,000 --> 00:50:41,570
With a ghost, Mr Holmes!

916
00:50:42,000 --> 00:50:43,570
Boring. Boring. Boring. No!

917
00:50:44,880 --> 00:50:46,211
Fascinating.

918
00:50:47,400 --> 00:50:49,084
John, John, wake up.

919
00:50:49,760 --> 00:50:52,047
Apologise about my, you know...

920
00:50:52,880 --> 00:50:54,006
Rude. Rude!

921
00:50:55,600 --> 00:51:00,367
I checked with the landlord
and the man who lived there died.

922
00:51:01,200 --> 00:51:02,361
Heart attack.

923
00:51:02,880 --> 00:51:07,124
And there we are
having dinner one week on.

924
00:51:07,600 --> 00:51:10,490
And I found this thing online,

925
00:51:10,560 --> 00:51:12,528
sort of chat room thing,

926
00:51:13,440 --> 00:51:16,967
for girls who think they're dating men
from the spirit world.

927
00:51:17,360 --> 00:51:20,091
Don't worry.
I'll find him in 10 minutes.

928
00:51:20,640 --> 00:51:21,641
What's your dog's name?

929
00:51:21,720 --> 00:51:23,290
Yeah, I'll be there if you want...

930
00:51:23,360 --> 00:51:24,725
John, wake up.

931
00:51:24,800 --> 00:51:26,165
Meant to...

932
00:51:26,240 --> 00:51:28,481
You... The game is something...

933
00:51:30,400 --> 00:51:32,243
- Oh.
- Yeah, that, that.

934
00:51:32,680 --> 00:51:33,806
Okay.

935
00:51:42,400 --> 00:51:43,890
Oh, it's nice.

936
00:51:45,320 --> 00:51:46,651
Nice place.

937
00:51:51,720 --> 00:51:52,721
- See any-thing?
- Hmm?

938
00:51:53,720 --> 00:51:55,484
Any clues, Mr Holmes?

939
00:51:56,320 --> 00:51:57,560
Oh, er...

940
00:52:18,800 --> 00:52:20,450
I'm just going to whip this out.

941
00:52:28,040 --> 00:52:29,201
Mmm-hmm.

942
00:52:37,200 --> 00:52:38,281
- You all right?
- Hmm?

943
00:52:38,360 --> 00:52:39,725
- Yeah, he's clueing.
- What?

944
00:52:39,800 --> 00:52:41,006
He's... Hmm?

945
00:52:41,080 --> 00:52:42,923
He's clueing for looks.

946
00:52:53,800 --> 00:52:55,131
Mr Holmes?

947
00:53:00,680 --> 00:53:02,569
- Mr Holmes?
- I'm calling the police.

948
00:53:02,640 --> 00:53:03,766
Oh, no.

949
00:53:03,960 --> 00:53:05,450
Whoa, whoa, whoa!

950
00:53:05,520 --> 00:53:06,760
This is a famous detective.

951
00:53:06,840 --> 00:53:09,525
It's Sherlock Holmes
and his partner, John Hamish Watson.

952
00:53:09,720 --> 00:53:10,960
What do you think you're doing?

953
00:53:11,400 --> 00:53:15,291
Don't compromise the integrity of the...

954
00:53:21,320 --> 00:53:22,651
Crime scene.

955
00:53:29,120 --> 00:53:31,202
Yeah, that.

956
00:53:51,200 --> 00:53:53,282
- Wakey, wakey!
- Oh, my God.

957
00:53:54,840 --> 00:53:55,887
Greg? Is that Greg?

958
00:53:55,960 --> 00:53:57,121
Get up, I'm going to
put you two in a taxi.

959
00:53:57,520 --> 00:54:00,091
Managed to square things
with the desk sergeant.

960
00:54:01,360 --> 00:54:02,600
What a couple of lightweights.

961
00:54:02,680 --> 00:54:04,409
You couldn't even make it
to closing time.

962
00:54:04,480 --> 00:54:07,404
- Can you whisper?
- Not really!

963
00:54:10,560 --> 00:54:11,686
Come on.

964
00:54:24,000 --> 00:54:27,561
Well, thanks for, you know,

965
00:54:28,640 --> 00:54:30,608
- an evening.
- It was awful.

966
00:54:30,680 --> 00:54:32,045
- Yep.
- Oh.

967
00:54:32,120 --> 00:54:34,088
I was going to pretend but...

968
00:54:34,160 --> 00:54:35,400
It was, truly.

969
00:54:35,480 --> 00:54:37,562
- That woman Tessa...
- What?

970
00:54:37,640 --> 00:54:40,211
Dated a ghost,
most interesting case for months.

971
00:54:40,280 --> 00:54:42,248
What a wasted opportunity.

972
00:54:43,200 --> 00:54:44,326
Okay.

973
00:54:51,040 --> 00:54:53,281
- How are you feeling?
- Mmm.

974
00:54:54,880 --> 00:54:57,645
It's just like old times,
having you back here.

975
00:54:58,400 --> 00:55:00,289
I thought I'd make your favourite.

976
00:55:00,360 --> 00:55:02,203
- One last time.
- Oh.

977
00:55:02,280 --> 00:55:04,647
Don't sound so final about it.

978
00:55:04,720 --> 00:55:05,721
I will be visiting, you know.

979
00:55:05,800 --> 00:55:08,201
Oh, I've heard that one before.

980
00:55:08,280 --> 00:55:09,281
No, it's different now, though,
isn't it?

981
00:55:09,360 --> 00:55:11,044
It's different to when we thought
we'd lost him.

982
00:55:11,120 --> 00:55:13,487
Well, marriage changes everything, John.

983
00:55:14,040 --> 00:55:15,246
- Does it?
- Yeah.

984
00:55:15,320 --> 00:55:17,402
You might not think it but it does.

985
00:55:17,480 --> 00:55:19,403
It's a different phase in your life.

986
00:55:19,720 --> 00:55:22,405
You meet new people
'cause you're a couple.

987
00:55:22,920 --> 00:55:26,288
And then you just
let your old friends slip away.

988
00:55:26,360 --> 00:55:28,249
It won't be like that.

989
00:55:28,320 --> 00:55:31,051
Well, if you've found the right one,
the person that you click with,

990
00:55:31,120 --> 00:55:32,690
it's the best thing in the world.

991
00:55:32,760 --> 00:55:34,524
Well, I have. I know I have.

992
00:55:34,600 --> 00:55:36,762
Oh, I'm sure. She's lovely.

993
00:55:36,840 --> 00:55:38,205
Yeah, I think so.

994
00:55:38,760 --> 00:55:40,489
- What about you?
- Me?

995
00:55:40,560 --> 00:55:43,803
Did you think you'd found the right one
when you married Mr Hudson?

996
00:55:43,880 --> 00:55:46,884
No. It was just
a whirlwind thing for us.

997
00:55:47,200 --> 00:55:48,201
I knew it wouldn't work

998
00:55:48,280 --> 00:55:50,248
- but I just got sort of swept along.
- Right.

999
00:55:50,480 --> 00:55:52,289
And then we moved to Florida.

1000
00:55:52,520 --> 00:55:54,090
We had a fantastic time

1001
00:55:54,160 --> 00:55:56,288
but of course, I didn't know
what he was up to.

1002
00:55:56,360 --> 00:55:58,044
- The drugs.
- Drugs?

1003
00:55:58,400 --> 00:55:59,447
He was running, um...

1004
00:55:59,960 --> 00:56:01,450
Oh, God, what do you call it?

1005
00:56:01,680 --> 00:56:03,250
Um, a...

1006
00:56:03,680 --> 00:56:04,727
cartel.

1007
00:56:05,240 --> 00:56:08,130
- And got in with a really bad crowd.
- Right.

1008
00:56:08,200 --> 00:56:10,601
And then I found out about
all the other women.

1009
00:56:10,680 --> 00:56:12,409
I didn't have a clue.

1010
00:56:13,280 --> 00:56:16,887
So when he was actually arrested
for blowing someone's head off,

1011
00:56:18,200 --> 00:56:20,328
it was quite a relief, to be honest.

1012
00:56:22,040 --> 00:56:23,201
Right.

1013
00:56:23,800 --> 00:56:25,928
It was purely physical
between me and Frank.

1014
00:56:26,240 --> 00:56:27,844
We couldn't keep
our hands off each other.

1015
00:56:28,560 --> 00:56:31,006
And, um, there was one night...

1016
00:56:31,080 --> 00:56:32,844
Oh, is that Sherlock?

1017
00:56:32,920 --> 00:56:33,921
Is it?

1018
00:56:36,120 --> 00:56:37,770
No, it's Sherlock.

1019
00:56:57,280 --> 00:56:58,281
There are going to be others.

1020
00:56:58,360 --> 00:57:00,203
- Others?
- Victims. Women.

1021
00:57:01,120 --> 00:57:02,963
Most ghosts tend to haunt
a single house.

1022
00:57:03,040 --> 00:57:05,407
This ghost, however,
is willing to commute. Look.

1023
00:57:28,040 --> 00:57:29,485
Mmm... not you.

1024
00:57:30,000 --> 00:57:32,651
Not you. Not you.
Not you. Not you. Not you.

1025
00:57:33,000 --> 00:57:34,809
Not you. Not you.

1026
00:57:35,280 --> 00:57:37,886
Not you. Not you. Not you.

1027
00:57:40,480 --> 00:57:42,926
Not you. Not you. Not you. Not you.

1028
00:57:43,000 --> 00:57:44,445
Not you. Not you. Not you.

1029
00:57:44,960 --> 00:57:48,681
Not you. Not you. Not you. Not you.
Not you, you, you or you. Or you.

1030
00:57:48,760 --> 00:57:51,923
Or you. Not you. Not you.
Not you. Not you.

1031
00:57:52,960 --> 00:57:55,122
Not you. Not you.

1032
00:58:03,240 --> 00:58:05,163
- Hi.
- Gail.

1033
00:58:11,240 --> 00:58:12,401
Charlotte.

1034
00:58:13,800 --> 00:58:14,961
Robyn.

1035
00:58:18,680 --> 00:58:19,841
Vicky.

1036
00:58:28,520 --> 00:58:29,646
How did you meet?

1037
00:58:29,720 --> 00:58:31,051
Came up to me in a pub.

1038
00:58:31,120 --> 00:58:32,531
Same gym as me.

1039
00:58:32,600 --> 00:58:33,965
We just got chatting on the bus.

1040
00:58:34,040 --> 00:58:35,041
Online.

1041
00:58:35,480 --> 00:58:36,845
- Name?
- Told you.

1042
00:58:36,920 --> 00:58:38,001
His name.

1043
00:58:38,080 --> 00:58:39,650
- Oscar.
- Mike.

1044
00:58:39,720 --> 00:58:40,881
Terry.

1045
00:58:40,960 --> 00:58:43,088
Urn, Love Monkey.

1046
00:58:44,200 --> 00:58:46,202
- Your place?
- His place.

1047
00:58:47,600 --> 00:58:48,681
Address?

1048
00:58:53,000 --> 00:58:54,331
Nothing happened.

1049
00:58:54,400 --> 00:58:57,131
It was just very romantic.

1050
00:58:57,200 --> 00:58:59,601
Four women in four nights.
He must have something special.

1051
00:58:59,680 --> 00:59:01,603
- He was very charming.
- Innocent.

1052
00:59:01,840 --> 00:59:02,887
He was sweet.

1053
00:59:03,200 --> 00:59:04,565
- He a lovely...
- You okay?

1054
00:59:06,840 --> 00:59:08,001
Let your food go cold.

1055
00:59:08,080 --> 00:59:09,411
Mrs Hudson will play hell.

1056
00:59:09,480 --> 00:59:10,970
Not now, John.

1057
00:59:15,400 --> 00:59:16,447
- Sorry about that.

1058
00:59:16,520 --> 00:59:17,851
He had a lovely manner.

1059
00:59:18,760 --> 00:59:20,603
Different names, different addresses.

1060
00:59:21,360 --> 00:59:23,408
- Describe him.
- Short blond hair.

1061
00:59:23,480 --> 00:59:24,766
Dark hair. Long.

1062
00:59:24,840 --> 00:59:26,490
Ginger. I like gingers.

1063
00:59:26,560 --> 00:59:27,607
Couldn't tell.

1064
00:59:28,400 --> 00:59:29,606
He had a mask on.

1065
00:59:31,720 --> 00:59:33,609
He's stealing
the identity of corpses,

1066
00:59:33,680 --> 00:59:35,762
getting their names
from the obituary columns.

1067
00:59:36,840 --> 00:59:38,046
All single men.

1068
00:59:38,360 --> 00:59:39,646
He's using the dead man's flat

1069
00:59:39,720 --> 00:59:41,324
under the assumption
it'll be empty for a while.

1070
00:59:42,520 --> 00:59:43,601
Free love nest.

1071
00:59:43,880 --> 00:59:45,609
- I feel sick.
- It's gruesome.

1072
00:59:45,680 --> 00:59:47,489
- That's awful.
- Clever.

1073
00:59:47,560 --> 00:59:48,561
Bastard.

1074
00:59:53,520 --> 00:59:55,170
Hello, Tessa.

1075
00:59:55,720 --> 00:59:58,246
Meanwhile, back to business.
No one wants to use a dead man's home.

1076
00:59:59,960 --> 01:00:05,091
At least not until it's been cleared,
so he disguises himself,

1077
01:00:05,160 --> 01:00:07,367
steals the man's home,
steals his identity.

1078
01:00:07,440 --> 01:00:08,885
But only for one night.

1079
01:00:09,520 --> 01:00:11,568
- And he's gone.
- He's not a ghost, John.

1080
01:00:11,640 --> 01:00:13,927
He's a mayfly. He lives for a day.

1081
01:00:15,120 --> 01:00:19,011
So what was it he was looking for?

1082
01:00:19,240 --> 01:00:20,241
Job?

1083
01:00:20,320 --> 01:00:21,446
- Gardener.
- Cook.

1084
01:00:21,520 --> 01:00:22,965
- Private nurse.
- I do security work.

1085
01:00:23,280 --> 01:00:24,327
Maid.

1086
01:00:25,720 --> 01:00:27,484
Obvious. You all work
for the same person.

1087
01:00:42,160 --> 01:00:43,969
No, no. Not the same employer.

1088
01:00:44,040 --> 01:00:45,690
Damn! Come on, we can do this.

1089
01:00:46,440 --> 01:00:47,566
Ideal night out?

1090
01:00:47,640 --> 01:00:49,449
- Clay pigeon shooting.
- Line dancing.

1091
01:00:49,840 --> 01:00:51,729
- Pictures.
- Wine in front of the telly.

1092
01:00:52,240 --> 01:00:53,241
Dungeon.

1093
01:00:55,520 --> 01:00:57,124
- Makeup?
- Clarins.

1094
01:00:57,200 --> 01:00:58,850
- No7.
- Maybelline.

1095
01:00:59,160 --> 01:01:01,083
- Nothing special.
- Whatever's cheap.

1096
01:01:01,920 --> 01:01:02,921
Perfume?

1097
01:01:03,000 --> 01:01:04,490
- Chanel.
- Chanel.

1098
01:01:04,760 --> 01:01:06,250
- Chanel.
- Chanel.

1099
01:01:06,440 --> 01:01:07,487
Estée Lauder.

1100
01:01:08,920 --> 01:01:09,967
Ideal man?

1101
01:01:10,240 --> 01:01:12,129
- George Clooney.
- Oh, no.

1102
01:01:12,200 --> 01:01:13,247
Home-loving.

1103
01:01:13,520 --> 01:01:14,601
He'd have to like cuddling.

1104
01:01:15,200 --> 01:01:16,247
Caring.

1105
01:01:16,520 --> 01:01:17,521
Ten things.

1106
01:01:17,600 --> 01:01:19,602
One, someone who isn't competitive
with other men.

1107
01:01:20,160 --> 01:01:24,848
Two, someone who isn't constantly trying
to define himself by his masculinity.

1108
01:01:26,960 --> 01:01:29,122
There's a unifying factor,
there has to be.

1109
01:01:29,200 --> 01:01:31,771
None of you reported anything stolen.

1110
01:01:33,480 --> 01:01:35,005
Security guard, gardener, cook,

1111
01:01:35,480 --> 01:01:37,050
maid, private nurse.

1112
01:01:37,120 --> 01:01:38,565
He's romancing his way
up the pecking order,

1113
01:01:38,640 --> 01:01:40,449
somebody's pecking order.
Come on, think.

1114
01:01:40,520 --> 01:01:41,806
Unless...

1115
01:01:43,400 --> 01:01:45,084
Do you have a secret
you've never told anyone?

1116
01:01:45,160 --> 01:01:46,241
No.

1117
01:01:47,000 --> 01:01:48,411
- Gotcha.
- What do you mean?

1118
01:01:48,480 --> 01:01:50,767
Everyone has secrets
and they all replied too quickly.

1119
01:01:51,080 --> 01:01:52,366
- Got to go.
- See you.

1120
01:01:52,440 --> 01:01:53,646
- No, wait.
- Bye-bye.

1121
01:01:53,720 --> 01:01:56,291
Sorry, sexy,
some secrets have to stay secret.

1122
01:01:56,800 --> 01:01:58,165
Enjoy the wedding.

1123
01:01:58,240 --> 01:01:59,321
Yeah.

1124
01:02:00,640 --> 01:02:02,642
Why? Why would he date
all of those women

1125
01:02:02,720 --> 01:02:03,926
and not return their calls?

1126
01:02:04,160 --> 01:02:05,241
You're missing the obvious, mate.

1127
01:02:05,960 --> 01:02:07,325
- Am I?
- He's a man.

1128
01:02:08,120 --> 01:02:10,009
Why would he change his identity?

1129
01:02:10,320 --> 01:02:11,446
Maybe he's married.

1130
01:02:13,720 --> 01:02:14,721
Oh.

1131
01:02:14,800 --> 01:02:16,040
Married.

1132
01:02:16,640 --> 01:02:17,880
Obvious, really.

1133
01:02:17,960 --> 01:02:21,043
Our mayfly man was trying to escape
the suffocating chains of domesticity

1134
01:02:21,120 --> 01:02:22,770
and instead of endless nights
in watching the telly

1135
01:02:22,840 --> 01:02:24,444
or going to barbeques
with the awful, dreadful,

1136
01:02:24,520 --> 01:02:25,806
boring people he couldn't stand,

1137
01:02:25,880 --> 01:02:28,121
he used his wits, cleverness
and powers of disguise

1138
01:02:28,200 --> 01:02:29,201
to play the field.

1139
01:02:29,280 --> 01:02:30,281
He was...

1140
01:02:34,000 --> 01:02:35,570
On second thoughts,

1141
01:02:35,640 --> 01:02:37,608
I probably should have told you
about The Elephant in the Room.

1142
01:02:38,160 --> 01:02:40,208
However, it does help
to further illustrate

1143
01:02:40,280 --> 01:02:42,442
how invaluable John is to me.

1144
01:02:43,360 --> 01:02:45,806
I can read a crime scene
the way he can understand a human being.

1145
01:02:45,880 --> 01:02:47,484
I used to think
that's what made me special.

1146
01:02:47,560 --> 01:02:49,881
Quite frankly, I still do.
But a word to the wise.

1147
01:02:49,960 --> 01:02:52,964
Should any of you require
the services of either of us,

1148
01:02:53,040 --> 01:02:54,849
I will solve your murder

1149
01:02:54,920 --> 01:02:57,491
but it takes John Watson
to save your life.

1150
01:02:57,720 --> 01:02:58,767
Trust me on that. I should know.

1151
01:02:58,840 --> 01:03:01,411
He's saved mine so many times
and in so many ways.

1152
01:03:03,960 --> 01:03:05,200
This blog

1153
01:03:06,560 --> 01:03:10,884
is the story of two men and their
frankly ridiculous adventures.

1154
01:03:11,640 --> 01:03:14,484
--Of murder, mystery and mayhem.

1155
01:03:15,680 --> 01:03:18,809
But from now on, there's a new story.

1156
01:03:20,280 --> 01:03:21,930
A bigger adventure.

1157
01:03:23,840 --> 01:03:25,444
Ladies and gentlemen,

1158
01:03:25,520 --> 01:03:28,046
pray charge your glasses
and be upstanding.

1159
01:03:29,680 --> 01:03:33,526
Today begin the adventures
of Mary Elizabeth Watson

1160
01:03:33,600 --> 01:03:35,284
and John Hamish Watson.

1161
01:03:36,560 --> 01:03:39,291
The two reasons why every
single one of us is...

1162
01:03:57,320 --> 01:03:59,448
What did you say?

1163
01:03:59,640 --> 01:04:01,881
You said,

1164
01:04:01,960 --> 01:04:05,009
"John Hamish Watson."

1165
01:04:05,080 --> 01:04:07,321
You said that, you said Hamish.

1166
01:04:08,200 --> 01:04:10,487
This is a famous detective,
it's Sherlock Holmes

1167
01:04:10,560 --> 01:04:12,608
and his partner, John Hamish Watson.

1168
01:04:12,680 --> 01:04:15,365
How did you know?

1169
01:04:15,440 --> 01:04:17,727
How did you know his middle name?

1170
01:04:17,800 --> 01:04:19,404
Never tells anyone, he hates it.

1171
01:04:23,480 --> 01:04:24,970
John H Watson?

1172
01:04:26,080 --> 01:04:27,081
Yep.

1173
01:04:33,640 --> 01:04:35,165
- Henry?
- Shut up.

1174
01:04:36,120 --> 01:04:37,849
- Humphrey?
- Shut up.

1175
01:04:40,440 --> 01:04:42,920
- 'Higgins?
- Go away!

1176
01:04:43,800 --> 01:04:46,007
Took him years to confide in me.

1177
01:04:48,800 --> 01:04:50,325
That's my birth certificate.

1178
01:04:50,400 --> 01:04:51,481
Yep.

1179
01:04:56,640 --> 01:04:58,244
And the woman, she knew.

1180
01:05:00,760 --> 01:05:03,445
Hamish.

1181
01:05:03,600 --> 01:05:05,090
John Hamish Watson.

1182
01:05:05,160 --> 01:05:08,130
Just if you were
looking for baby names.

1183
01:05:08,600 --> 01:05:10,364
God knows where she is.

1184
01:05:14,880 --> 01:05:16,848
Out of my head, I am busy!

1185
01:05:18,360 --> 01:05:20,681
There's only one time
that name's been made public.

1186
01:05:20,920 --> 01:05:22,922
Does it have to be
on the invitation?

1187
01:05:23,000 --> 01:05:24,490
It's your name.

1188
01:05:24,720 --> 01:05:26,609
- It's traditional.
- It's funny.

1189
01:05:29,480 --> 01:05:31,323
Enjoy the wedding.

1190
01:05:35,640 --> 01:05:36,880
Enjoy the wedding.

1191
01:05:36,960 --> 01:05:38,371
The wedding!

1192
01:05:38,440 --> 01:05:39,441
You knew about the wedding.

1193
01:05:39,520 --> 01:05:41,841
More importantly,
you'd seen the wedding invitation.

1194
01:05:42,080 --> 01:05:43,844
Now, barely a hundred people
had seen that invitation.

1195
01:05:43,920 --> 01:05:45,888
The Mayfly Man only saw five women.

1196
01:05:45,960 --> 01:05:47,485
For one person to be in both groups...

1197
01:05:48,920 --> 01:05:50,126
could be a coincidence.

1198
01:05:50,200 --> 01:05:51,884
Oh, Sherlock.

1199
01:05:52,280 --> 01:05:54,044
What do we say about coincidence?

1200
01:05:54,120 --> 01:05:55,610
The universe is rarely so lazy.

1201
01:05:55,680 --> 01:05:57,682
So, the balance of probability is...

1202
01:05:57,760 --> 01:05:58,761
Someone went to great lengths

1203
01:05:58,840 --> 01:05:59,887
to find out something
about this wedding.

1204
01:05:59,960 --> 01:06:02,804
- What great lengths?
- They lied. Assumed false identities.

1205
01:06:02,880 --> 01:06:04,882
- Which suggests?
- Criminal intent.

1206
01:06:04,960 --> 01:06:07,486
- Also suggests...
- Intelligence. Planning.

1207
01:06:07,560 --> 01:06:09,881
Clearly. But more importantly...

1208
01:06:11,880 --> 01:06:12,927
The Mayfly Man.

1209
01:06:14,000 --> 01:06:15,365
The Mayfly Man is...

1210
01:06:15,440 --> 01:06:17,329
...here today.

1211
01:06:17,680 --> 01:06:18,806
Ooh, sorry, I...

1212
01:06:21,760 --> 01:06:22,761
Another glass, sir?

1213
01:06:22,960 --> 01:06:24,041
Thank you, yes. Thank you, yes.

1214
01:06:24,920 --> 01:06:27,127
Something is going to happen,
right here.

1215
01:06:30,200 --> 01:06:31,326
Now, where were we?

1216
01:06:31,400 --> 01:06:32,447
Could be any second.

1217
01:06:36,200 --> 01:06:37,486
You have control of the room.

1218
01:06:38,080 --> 01:06:40,162
Ah, yes, raising glasses
and standing up.

1219
01:06:40,720 --> 01:06:42,210
Very good, thank you.

1220
01:06:42,280 --> 01:06:43,645
Don't lose it.

1221
01:06:44,200 --> 01:06:45,690
And down again.

1222
01:06:54,160 --> 01:06:57,687
Ladies and gentlemen, people tell you
not to milk a good speech.

1223
01:06:57,760 --> 01:06:59,728
Get off early, leave them laughing.

1224
01:07:01,680 --> 01:07:05,287
Wise advice I'll certainly
try to bear in mind but for now...

1225
01:07:06,000 --> 01:07:09,322
Part two! Part two is more action-based.

1226
01:07:09,400 --> 01:07:12,722
I'm going to walk around,
shake things up a bit.

1227
01:07:13,680 --> 01:07:16,160
Who'd go to a wedding?
That's the question.

1228
01:07:16,240 --> 01:07:20,484
Who would bother to go to any lengths
to get themselves to a wedding?

1229
01:07:22,320 --> 01:07:24,209
Well, everyone.

1230
01:07:24,280 --> 01:07:25,884
Weddings are great! Love a wedding.

1231
01:07:25,960 --> 01:07:27,769
- What's he doing?
- Something's wrong.

1232
01:07:27,840 --> 01:07:29,285
And John's great, too.

1233
01:07:29,360 --> 01:07:31,931
I haven't said that enough,
barely scratched the surface.

1234
01:07:32,000 --> 01:07:36,847
I could go on all night about
the depth and complexity of his...

1235
01:07:36,920 --> 01:07:39,321
- jumpers.
- ...jumpers, and he can cook...

1236
01:07:39,400 --> 01:07:42,165
Does a thing,

1237
01:07:42,520 --> 01:07:45,285
thing with peas... once.

1238
01:07:45,360 --> 01:07:47,010
Might not be peas, might not be him.

1239
01:07:47,080 --> 01:07:50,050
But he's got a great singing voice
or somebody does...

1240
01:07:50,800 --> 01:07:52,643
Too many, too many, too many, too many!

1241
01:07:53,640 --> 01:07:55,483
Sorry, too many jokes about John.

1242
01:07:56,560 --> 01:07:57,891
Now, uh...

1243
01:07:58,280 --> 01:07:59,361
Criminal intent.

1244
01:07:59,440 --> 01:08:01,090
Where was I? Ah, yes.

1245
01:08:01,160 --> 01:08:02,969
Extraordinary lengths.

1246
01:08:03,040 --> 01:08:04,610
Speech! Speech.

1247
01:08:05,320 --> 01:08:06,367
Let's talk about...

1248
01:08:06,440 --> 01:08:08,886
All of which is suggestive of...

1249
01:08:10,480 --> 01:08:11,481
- Murder.

1250
01:08:11,560 --> 01:08:14,131
Sorry, did I say "murder"?
I meant to say "marriage".

1251
01:08:14,200 --> 01:08:15,884
But, you know, they're...

1252
01:08:16,320 --> 01:08:18,322
quite similar procedures,
when you think about it,

1253
01:08:18,400 --> 01:08:22,610
the participants tend to know each other
and it's over when one of them's dead.

1254
01:08:22,680 --> 01:08:24,489
In fairness,
murder is a lot quicker, though.

1255
01:08:24,560 --> 01:08:26,324
Janine, what about this one?
Acceptably hot?

1256
01:08:26,600 --> 01:08:28,967
More importantly, his girlfriend's
wearing brand-new, uncomfortable underwear

1257
01:08:29,040 --> 01:08:31,407
and hasn't bothered to pick
this thread off of the top of his jacket

1258
01:08:31,480 --> 01:08:33,164
or point out the grease smudge
on the back of his neck.

1259
01:08:33,240 --> 01:08:35,925
Currently, he's going home alone.
Also, he's a comics and sci-fi geek,

1260
01:08:36,000 --> 01:08:38,128
they're always tremendously grateful
when you put the hours in.

1261
01:08:38,200 --> 01:08:40,521
--Geoff, the gents.

1262
01:08:41,000 --> 01:08:43,162
- The loos, now, please.
- Greg.

1263
01:08:43,240 --> 01:08:44,241
- The loos, please.

1264
01:08:44,320 --> 01:08:46,926
- Why?
- Oh, I don't know, maybe it's your turn.

1265
01:08:47,360 --> 01:08:49,124
Yeah, actually, now you mention it...

1266
01:08:49,520 --> 01:08:51,966
Sherlock,
any chance of an end date

1267
01:08:52,040 --> 01:08:53,724
for this speech? Gotta cut the cake.

1268
01:08:54,280 --> 01:08:56,248
Oh! Ladies and gentlemen,

1269
01:08:56,320 --> 01:08:58,687
can't stand it when I finally
get the chance to speak for once,

1270
01:08:58,760 --> 01:09:01,286
- Vatican Cameos.
- What did he say? What does that mean?

1271
01:09:01,920 --> 01:09:03,729
Battle stations, someone's going to die.

1272
01:09:03,800 --> 01:09:04,926
What?

1273
01:09:06,080 --> 01:09:07,127
Narrow it down.

1274
01:09:07,800 --> 01:09:09,006
Narrow it down.

1275
01:09:10,360 --> 01:09:11,964
Narrow it down.

1276
01:09:12,040 --> 01:09:13,804
No!

1277
01:09:13,880 --> 01:09:16,406
No! Not you, not you.

1278
01:09:17,440 --> 01:09:18,441
You.

1279
01:09:19,840 --> 01:09:21,330
It's always you.

1280
01:09:21,400 --> 01:09:23,607
John Watson, you keep me right.

1281
01:09:25,600 --> 01:09:28,001
- What do I do?
- You've already done it.

1282
01:09:28,080 --> 01:09:31,163
Don't solve the murder, save the life.

1283
01:09:31,240 --> 01:09:33,004
Sorry.

1284
01:09:33,080 --> 01:09:35,242
Off-piste a bit, back now, phew!

1285
01:09:35,560 --> 01:09:38,131
Let's play a game. Let's play Murder.

1286
01:09:39,360 --> 01:09:41,010
Sherlock!

1287
01:09:41,080 --> 01:09:44,402
Imagine someone's going to get
murdered at a wedding.

1288
01:09:44,480 --> 01:09:45,720
Who exactly would you pick?

1289
01:09:45,800 --> 01:09:47,928
I think you're a popular choice
at the moment, dear.

1290
01:09:48,040 --> 01:09:50,247
If someone could move Mrs Hudson's glass
just slightly out of reach,

1291
01:09:50,320 --> 01:09:51,924
that would be lovely.

1292
01:09:52,000 --> 01:09:55,766
More importantly,
who could you only kill at a wedding?

1293
01:09:57,800 --> 01:09:59,290
Most people you can kill any old place.

1294
01:09:59,400 --> 01:10:01,164
As a mental exercise,
I have often planned

1295
01:10:01,240 --> 01:10:02,765
the murder of friends and colleagues.

1296
01:10:02,840 --> 01:10:06,526
Now, John I'd poison.
Sloppy eater, dead easy.

1297
01:10:06,600 --> 01:10:09,126
I've given him chemicals and compounds
that way, he's never even noticed.

1298
01:10:09,200 --> 01:10:10,770
He missed a whole Wednesday once,
didn't have a clue.

1299
01:10:10,840 --> 01:10:11,887
Lestrade's so easy to kill,

1300
01:10:11,960 --> 01:10:13,450
it's a miracle no one's
succumbed to the temptation.

1301
01:10:13,520 --> 01:10:14,726
I've got a pair of keys
to my brother's house,

1302
01:10:14,800 --> 01:10:16,484
I could easily break in there
and asphyxiate him...

1303
01:10:16,560 --> 01:10:18,050
If the whim arose.

1304
01:10:18,120 --> 01:10:20,009
He's pissed, isn't he? Ow!

1305
01:10:20,080 --> 01:10:23,926
So, once again,
who could you only kill here?

1306
01:10:24,480 --> 01:10:25,641
Clearly, it's a rare opportunity,

1307
01:10:25,720 --> 01:10:27,290
so it's someone
who doesn't get out much.

1308
01:10:27,520 --> 01:10:29,045
Someone for whom
a planned social encounter

1309
01:10:29,120 --> 01:10:31,646
known about months in advance
is an exception.

1310
01:10:31,720 --> 01:10:33,802
Has to be a unique opportunity.

1311
01:10:35,120 --> 01:10:37,487
And since killing someone
in public is difficult,

1312
01:10:37,560 --> 01:10:39,449
killing them in private isn't an option.

1313
01:10:39,520 --> 01:10:42,649
Someone who lives in an inaccessible
or unknown location, then.

1314
01:10:42,720 --> 01:10:44,643
Someone private, perhaps,

1315
01:10:45,000 --> 01:10:47,048
obsessed with personal security...

1316
01:10:48,000 --> 01:10:49,923
--Possibly someone under threat.

1317
01:10:54,600 --> 01:10:55,806
Major James Sholto, who he?

1318
01:10:55,880 --> 01:10:57,769
- I don't think he's coming.
- He'll be there.

1319
01:10:57,840 --> 01:10:59,763
- Where are you living these days?
- Oh,

1320
01:10:59,840 --> 01:11:01,126
way out in the middle of nowhere.

1321
01:11:01,800 --> 01:11:03,290
The press and the family's
giving him hell,

1322
01:11:03,360 --> 01:11:04,600
he gets more death threats than you.

1323
01:11:07,320 --> 01:11:08,685
Oh, a recluse?

1324
01:11:09,400 --> 01:11:10,731
Small household staff.

1325
01:11:10,800 --> 01:11:12,848
- Job?
- Gardener, cook, private nurse, maid.

1326
01:11:12,920 --> 01:11:14,729
High turnover for additional security.

1327
01:11:14,800 --> 01:11:15,801
I do security work.

1328
01:11:15,880 --> 01:11:17,723
Probably all signed
confidentiality agreements.

1329
01:11:17,800 --> 01:11:19,211
Do you have a secret
you've never told anyone?

1330
01:11:19,280 --> 01:11:21,203
- No.
- There's another question that remains,

1331
01:11:21,280 --> 01:11:22,964
however, rather a big one, a huge one.

1332
01:11:23,040 --> 01:11:24,963
How would you do it?
How do you kill someone in public?

1333
01:11:25,040 --> 01:11:26,246
There has to be a way.

1334
01:11:26,320 --> 01:11:28,527
- This has been planned.
- Mr Holmes, Mr Holmes!

1335
01:11:28,600 --> 01:11:29,931
Oh, hello again, Archie.
What's your theory?

1336
01:11:30,000 --> 01:11:31,729
Get this right and there's
a headless nun in it for you.

1337
01:11:31,800 --> 01:11:33,086
The invisible man could do it.

1338
01:11:33,160 --> 01:11:34,525
The who, the what,
the when, the why, the where?

1339
01:11:34,600 --> 01:11:35,965
The invisible man
with the invisible knife,

1340
01:11:36,560 --> 01:11:38,130
the one who tried to kill the guardsman.

1341
01:11:55,600 --> 01:11:57,921
Bainbridge? Bainbridge!

1342
01:12:05,240 --> 01:12:08,130
Oh, not just planned,
planned and rehearsed.

1343
01:12:10,520 --> 01:12:13,126
Ladies and gentlemen,
there will now be a short interlude.

1344
01:12:13,200 --> 01:12:14,770
To the bride and groom!

1345
01:12:16,560 --> 01:12:18,801
To the bride and the groom.

1346
01:12:19,520 --> 01:12:20,681
Major Sholto's going to be murdered.

1347
01:12:20,760 --> 01:12:22,330
I don't know how or by whom
but it's going to happen.

1348
01:12:23,160 --> 01:12:26,084
Excuse me, coming through, consulting.

1349
01:12:26,160 --> 01:12:27,844
- Stay here.
- Please be careful.

1350
01:12:27,920 --> 01:12:29,968
Excuse me, coming through.

1351
01:12:30,040 --> 01:12:31,883
Excuse me.

1352
01:12:32,600 --> 01:12:35,763
Sorry, one moment. Oh, I'm so sorry.

1353
01:12:35,920 --> 01:12:38,048
What's happening? What's going on?

1354
01:13:01,520 --> 01:13:04,126
How can you not remember which room?
You remember everything!

1355
01:13:04,200 --> 01:13:06,248
- I have to delete something!
- 207!

1356
01:13:14,640 --> 01:13:15,971
Major Sholto?

1357
01:13:16,040 --> 01:13:17,246
Major Sholto?

1358
01:13:18,920 --> 01:13:20,206
Major Sholto!

1359
01:13:20,280 --> 01:13:22,089
If someone's about
to make an attempt on my life,

1360
01:13:22,160 --> 01:13:24,561
it won't be the first time. I'm ready.

1361
01:13:24,640 --> 01:13:26,324
Major, let us in!

1362
01:13:26,400 --> 01:13:27,925
- Kick the door down.
- I really wouldn't.

1363
01:13:28,880 --> 01:13:32,407
I have a gun in my hand
and a lifetime of unfortunate reflexes.

1364
01:13:32,480 --> 01:13:34,164
You're not safe in there.
Whoever's after you,

1365
01:13:34,240 --> 01:13:35,810
we know that a locked room
doesn't stop him.

1366
01:13:35,880 --> 01:13:37,928
The invisible man
with the invisible knife?

1367
01:13:38,000 --> 01:13:39,411
I don't know how he does it
so I can't stop him

1368
01:13:39,480 --> 01:13:40,561
and that means he'll do it again.

1369
01:13:40,640 --> 01:13:41,641
Solve it, then.

1370
01:13:41,760 --> 01:13:43,444
I... I'm sorry?

1371
01:13:43,520 --> 01:13:46,649
You're the famous Mr Holmes.
Solve the case, on you go.

1372
01:13:47,040 --> 01:13:49,202
Tell me how he did it
and I'll open the door.

1373
01:13:49,280 --> 01:13:53,080
Please, this is no time for games.
Just let us in, you're in danger!

1374
01:13:53,160 --> 01:13:54,650
So are you, so long as you're here.

1375
01:13:54,720 --> 01:13:56,370
Please, leave me.

1376
01:13:57,680 --> 01:14:00,923
Despite my reputation, I really
don't approve of collateral damage.

1377
01:14:01,280 --> 01:14:02,850
- Solve it.
- Sorry?

1378
01:14:02,920 --> 01:14:04,160
Solve it and he'll open the door,
like he said.

1379
01:14:04,240 --> 01:14:05,765
I couldn't solve it before,
how can I solve it now?

1380
01:14:05,840 --> 01:14:07,490
- Because it matters now!
- What are you talking about?

1381
01:14:07,560 --> 01:14:09,210
What's she talking about?
Get your wife under control.

1382
01:14:09,280 --> 01:14:10,327
She's right.

1383
01:14:10,400 --> 01:14:12,721
- Oh, you've changed.
- No, she is. Shut up.

1384
01:14:12,800 --> 01:14:15,087
You are not a puzzle solver,
you never have been.

1385
01:14:15,160 --> 01:14:17,561
You're a drama queen. Now,
there is a man in there about to die,

1386
01:14:17,640 --> 01:14:19,244
the game is on, solve it!

1387
01:14:35,320 --> 01:14:36,401
--Bainbridge?

1388
01:14:39,520 --> 01:14:40,521
Bainbridge!

1389
01:14:43,200 --> 01:14:44,201
Though, in fairness,

1390
01:14:44,280 --> 01:14:45,566
- he's a drama queen, too.
- Yeah, I know.

1391
01:14:45,640 --> 01:14:47,722
Major Sholto,
no one's coming to kill you.

1392
01:14:47,800 --> 01:14:50,121
I'm afraid you've already been killed
several hours ago.

1393
01:14:51,480 --> 01:14:53,562
- What did you say?
- Don't take off your belt.

1394
01:14:54,080 --> 01:14:55,127
My belt?

1395
01:14:55,440 --> 01:14:56,441
His belt, yes.

1396
01:14:56,520 --> 01:14:58,648
Bainbridge was stabbed
hours before we even saw him,

1397
01:14:58,720 --> 01:15:00,290
- but it was through his belt.

1398
01:15:00,360 --> 01:15:01,964
Tight belt, worn high on the waist.

1399
01:15:02,040 --> 01:15:04,008
Very easy to push a small blade
through the fabric,

1400
01:15:04,080 --> 01:15:05,241
and you wouldn't even feel it.

1401
01:15:05,320 --> 01:15:07,243
The belt would bind the flesh together

1402
01:15:07,320 --> 01:15:08,321
- when it was tight.
- Exactly.

1403
01:15:08,400 --> 01:15:10,368
- And when you took it off...
- Delayed action stabbing.

1404
01:15:10,440 --> 01:15:12,602
All the time in the world
to create an alibi.

1405
01:15:12,680 --> 01:15:13,761
Major Sholto!

1406
01:15:13,960 --> 01:15:15,121
So...

1407
01:15:18,040 --> 01:15:20,407
I was to be killed by my uniform.

1408
01:15:21,320 --> 01:15:22,810
How appropriate.

1409
01:15:25,800 --> 01:15:28,849
He solved the case, Major,
you're supposed to open the door now.

1410
01:15:28,920 --> 01:15:29,921
A deal is a deal.

1411
01:15:30,200 --> 01:15:32,009
I'm not even supposed
to have this any more.

1412
01:15:32,080 --> 01:15:34,208
They gave me
special dispensation to keep it.

1413
01:15:34,840 --> 01:15:37,002
I couldn't imagine life
out of this uniform,

1414
01:15:37,080 --> 01:15:39,367
I suppose, given the circumstances,
I don't have to.

1415
01:15:42,520 --> 01:15:46,206
When so many want you dead,
it hardly seems good manners to argue.

1416
01:15:51,240 --> 01:15:54,608
Whatever you're doing in there, James,
stop it right now.

1417
01:15:54,680 --> 01:15:56,125
I will kick this door down.

1418
01:15:56,200 --> 01:15:58,646
Mr Holmes,
you and I are similar, I think.

1419
01:15:58,720 --> 01:16:00,165
Yes, I think we are.

1420
01:16:00,240 --> 01:16:02,004
There's a proper time to die,
isn't there?

1421
01:16:02,080 --> 01:16:03,081
Of course there is.

1422
01:16:03,160 --> 01:16:05,288
And one should embrace it when it comes.

1423
01:16:07,200 --> 01:16:08,201
Like a soldier.

1424
01:16:08,280 --> 01:16:11,011
Of course one should
but not at John's wedding!

1425
01:16:12,720 --> 01:16:16,247
We wouldn't do that,
would we, you and me?

1426
01:16:16,800 --> 01:16:20,600
We would never do that to John Watson.

1427
01:16:25,280 --> 01:16:27,282
- I'm going to break it down.
- Wait, wait, you won't have to.

1428
01:16:27,360 --> 01:16:28,441
Hmm?

1429
01:16:34,560 --> 01:16:36,881
I believe I am in need
of medical attention.

1430
01:16:37,840 --> 01:16:39,729
I believe I'm your doctor.

1431
01:16:56,680 --> 01:16:58,444
Yeah, pretty good, just...

1432
01:16:58,520 --> 01:17:01,330
- Hold your nerve when you're turning.
- Why do we have to rehearse?

1433
01:17:01,400 --> 01:17:03,846
Because we are about
to dance together in public

1434
01:17:03,920 --> 01:17:05,160
and your skills are appalling.

1435
01:17:07,320 --> 01:17:09,004
- Well, you're a good teacher.
- Hmm.

1436
01:17:09,080 --> 01:17:10,491
And you're a brilliant dancer.

1437
01:17:11,240 --> 01:17:14,130
- I'll let you in on something, Janine.
- Go on, then.

1438
01:17:14,480 --> 01:17:16,960
- I love dancing. I've always loved it.
- Seriously?

1439
01:17:17,040 --> 01:17:18,041
Watch out.

1440
01:17:22,640 --> 01:17:23,846
Oh!

1441
01:17:23,920 --> 01:17:25,684
That rarely comes up in crime work

1442
01:17:25,760 --> 01:17:27,410
but, you know, I live in hope
of the right case.

1443
01:17:28,040 --> 01:17:29,804
I wish you weren't...

1444
01:17:31,280 --> 01:17:33,009
whatever it is you are.

1445
01:17:33,560 --> 01:17:34,925
- I know.
- Well!

1446
01:17:35,240 --> 01:17:36,730
Glad to see you've pulled, Sherlock,

1447
01:17:36,800 --> 01:17:38,643
what with murderers
running riot at my wedding.

1448
01:17:38,720 --> 01:17:41,485
One murder... One nearly murderer.
He loves to exaggerate.

1449
01:17:41,560 --> 01:17:42,641
You should try living with him.

1450
01:17:43,160 --> 01:17:44,207
Sherlock.

1451
01:17:45,080 --> 01:17:48,129
- Got him for you.
- Ah! The photographer, excellent.

1452
01:17:48,360 --> 01:17:51,409
Thank you. Um, may I have
a look at your camera?

1453
01:17:52,160 --> 01:17:54,811
Uh, what's this about?
I was halfway home.

1454
01:17:55,160 --> 01:17:56,491
- You should have driven faster.

1455
01:17:57,480 --> 01:18:00,370
Ah, yes. Yes! Very good!

1456
01:18:00,960 --> 01:18:03,725
There, you see? Perfect.

1457
01:18:03,800 --> 01:18:06,041
What is? You going to tell us?

1458
01:18:06,560 --> 01:18:07,766
Try looking yourself.

1459
01:18:08,320 --> 01:18:09,845
Who? For what?

1460
01:18:11,320 --> 01:18:12,685
Is the murderer in these photographs?

1461
01:18:12,760 --> 01:18:15,331
It's not what's in the photographs,
it's what's not in them.

1462
01:18:15,400 --> 01:18:16,526
Not in any of them.

1463
01:18:16,600 --> 01:18:19,809
Sherlock, the showing-off thing,
we've discussed it before.

1464
01:18:22,000 --> 01:18:25,641
There is always a man at a wedding
who is not in any photograph,

1465
01:18:25,720 --> 01:18:27,404
who can go anywhere,

1466
01:18:27,480 --> 01:18:30,006
even carry an equipment bag
around with him if he likes.

1467
01:18:30,280 --> 01:18:32,521
And you never even see his face.

1468
01:18:32,600 --> 01:18:33,647
You only ever see...

1469
01:18:42,400 --> 01:18:43,640
the camera.

1470
01:18:43,720 --> 01:18:45,051
What are you doing? What is this?

1471
01:18:45,120 --> 01:18:47,851
Jonathan Small, today's substitute
wedding photographer,

1472
01:18:47,920 --> 01:18:50,127
known to us as the Mayfly Man.

1473
01:18:50,640 --> 01:18:54,247
His brother was one of the raw recruits
killed in that incursion.

1474
01:18:54,800 --> 01:18:56,370
Johnny sought revenge on Sholto,

1475
01:18:56,440 --> 01:19:00,047
worked his way through Sholto's staff,
found what he needed.

1476
01:19:00,560 --> 01:19:02,449
An invitation to a wedding.

1477
01:19:02,520 --> 01:19:05,205
The one time Silo/to would
have to be out in public.

1478
01:19:05,280 --> 01:19:07,089
So, he made his plan

1479
01:19:07,360 --> 01:19:09,408
and rehearsed the murder,

1480
01:19:10,120 --> 01:19:13,010
making sure of every last detail.

1481
01:19:26,440 --> 01:19:29,444
Brilliant, ruthless
and almost certainly a monomaniac.

1482
01:19:29,520 --> 01:19:31,727
Though, in fairness,
his photographs are actually quite good.

1483
01:19:32,040 --> 01:19:33,326
Everything you need's on that.

1484
01:19:33,720 --> 01:19:36,166
You probably ought to
arrest him or something.

1485
01:19:37,600 --> 01:19:39,568
- Do you always carry handcuffs?
- Down, girl.

1486
01:19:39,640 --> 01:19:40,641
Come on, quick.

1487
01:19:41,200 --> 01:19:42,850
It's not me you should
be arresting, Mr Holmes.

1488
01:19:42,920 --> 01:19:45,526
Oh, I don't do the arresting,
I just farm that out.

1489
01:19:45,600 --> 01:19:47,602
Sholto, he's the killer, not me.

1490
01:19:48,640 --> 01:19:50,130
I should have killed him quicker.

1491
01:19:52,920 --> 01:19:55,048
I shouldn't have tried to be clever.

1492
01:19:55,720 --> 01:19:57,722
You should have driven faster.

1493
01:20:07,320 --> 01:20:08,481
Right.

1494
01:21:12,360 --> 01:21:13,805
Really?

1495
01:21:16,680 --> 01:21:19,081
Whoo! Yeah!

1496
01:21:19,840 --> 01:21:21,683
Whoo!

1497
01:21:27,000 --> 01:21:29,321
Ladies and gentlemen,
just one last thing

1498
01:21:29,400 --> 01:21:31,004
before the evening begins properly.

1499
01:21:31,080 --> 01:21:34,721
Apologies for earlier,
a crisis arose and was dealt with.

1500
01:21:35,560 --> 01:21:38,882
More importantly, however,
today we saw two people make vows.

1501
01:21:38,960 --> 01:21:41,770
I have never made a vow in my life
and after tonight I never will again.

1502
01:21:41,840 --> 01:21:46,289
So, here in front of you all,
my first and last vow.

1503
01:21:47,160 --> 01:21:48,525
Mary and John...

1504
01:21:49,840 --> 01:21:52,366
Whatever it takes, whatever happens,

1505
01:21:53,280 --> 01:21:57,888
from now on, I swear
I will always be there, always,

1506
01:21:57,960 --> 01:21:59,724
for all three of you.

1507
01:21:59,800 --> 01:22:02,326
Uh, I'm sorry, I mean two of you.
All two of you.

1508
01:22:02,400 --> 01:22:04,164
Both of you, in fact, I just miscounted.

1509
01:22:04,240 --> 01:22:07,722
Anyway, it's time for dancing.
Play the music again, please. Thank you.

1510
01:22:07,800 --> 01:22:09,962
Okay everybody, just dance.
Don't be shy.

1511
01:22:10,080 --> 01:22:12,128
- Dancing, please! Very good!

1512
01:22:12,560 --> 01:22:14,722
Sorry, that was one more deduction
than I was really expecting.

1513
01:22:14,800 --> 01:22:16,529
- Deduction?
- Increased appetite.

1514
01:22:16,600 --> 01:22:18,568
- I'm starving!
- Change of taste perception.

1515
01:22:18,640 --> 01:22:20,847
Ugh, I chose this wine.
It's bloody awful!

1516
01:22:20,920 --> 01:22:23,730
You were sick this morning.
You assumed it was just wedding nerves.

1517
01:22:23,800 --> 01:22:25,723
You got angry with me
when I mentioned it to you.

1518
01:22:25,800 --> 01:22:27,325
All the signs are there.

1519
01:22:27,520 --> 01:22:28,601
The signs?

1520
01:22:30,080 --> 01:22:32,162
- The signs of three.
- What?

1521
01:22:32,840 --> 01:22:34,842
Mary, I think you should
do a pregnancy test.

1522
01:22:37,240 --> 01:22:39,288
The statistics for
the first trimester are...

1523
01:22:39,360 --> 01:22:40,441
Shut up!

1524
01:22:41,520 --> 01:22:43,727
- Just shut up.
- Sorry.

1525
01:22:44,960 --> 01:22:47,327
How did he notice before me?
I'm a bloody doctor.

1526
01:22:47,400 --> 01:22:48,765
- It's your day off.
- It's your day off!

1527
01:22:48,840 --> 01:22:50,001
- Stop panicking.
- I'm not panicking.

1528
01:22:50,080 --> 01:22:51,411
I'm pregnant, I'm panicking.

1529
01:22:51,480 --> 01:22:53,448
Don't panic. None of you panic.

1530
01:22:54,560 --> 01:22:56,050
Absolutely no reason to panic.

1531
01:22:56,520 --> 01:22:58,727
- Oh, and you'd know, of course?
- Yes, I would.

1532
01:22:58,800 --> 01:23:00,211
You're already
the best parents in the world,

1533
01:23:00,280 --> 01:23:01,486
look at all the practice you've had.

1534
01:23:01,560 --> 01:23:02,561
The practice?

1535
01:23:02,640 --> 01:23:03,801
Well, you're hardly going to need
me around

1536
01:23:03,880 --> 01:23:05,723
now that you've got
a real baby on the way.

1537
01:23:14,080 --> 01:23:15,923
- Are you all right?
- Yeah!

1538
01:23:22,960 --> 01:23:24,246
- Dance!
- Hmm?

1539
01:23:24,320 --> 01:23:26,402
Both of you now, go, dance.
We can't just stand here,

1540
01:23:26,480 --> 01:23:27,606
people will wonder
what we're talking about.

1541
01:23:28,160 --> 01:23:29,969
- Right.
- What about you?

1542
01:23:30,040 --> 01:23:31,565
Well, we can't all three dance,
there are limits.

1543
01:23:31,640 --> 01:23:33,802
- Yes, there are.

1544
01:23:33,880 --> 01:23:35,211
Come on, husband, let's go.

1545
01:23:35,440 --> 01:23:37,044
- This isn't a waltz, is it?
- No.

1546
01:23:37,480 --> 01:23:38,970
Don't worry, Mary,
I have been tutoring him.

1547
01:23:39,040 --> 01:23:40,929
He did, you know.
Baker Street, behind closed curtains.

1548
01:23:41,000 --> 01:23:44,402
Mrs Hudson came in one time.
Don't know how those rumours started.

1549
00:04:07,600 --> 00:04:13,800
<font face="Arial" color=#00e400" > Sherlock S03E02 -</font> <font face="Arial" color=#e624a4"> The Sign Of Three </ font>
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<font face="Old English Text MT" color=#0066ff"> Cry007Baby </font> <font face="Arial" color=#ff0000" > [C7B]</font>