There's something going on in Chinatown.
A pattern of incidents I don't yet understand.
The other day in the alley,
I saw a woman get abducted.
- Hey! - A local nail salon worker
has been found dead.
Any gangs out there, we are putting you on notice.
Including the Painted Faces.
Green and Turner, they don't know anything about Chinatown
and they're never gonna figure out what's actually happening.
In light of certain cultural considerations,
we've also brought in Detective Lana Lee.
I'm started to study to get my real estate license.
Guys like us don't become the heroes.
Guys like us?
Guys from Chinatown.
Your brother was a guy from Chinatown.
He was working with us.
This task force,
it dissolved the same week he went missing.
You're going to solve this?
- We are. - We?
Your brother was special.
He was the best student I've ever seen.
I grew up wanting to be like him.
To be that guy.
The kung fu guy.
Looks like someone's catcalling days are over.
- Lee. - Yep?
You're the Chinatown expert. What's your take?
Neighbors reported a Wilhelm scream at 3:00 a.m.
Scaffolding's broken.
There's been a string of illegal renovations in this area.
So you're calling this an accidental fall?
At least he didn't suffer.
Boys, bag him and tag him.
Not so fast.
♪
I didn't know you needed glasses.
I don't.
Looks like his neck was punctured with
what appears to be a 33 gauge needle.
Thirty-three? That's a syringe.
Alright, team, let-let's get this man to the morgue, stat.
Order a full tox report.
We'll meet you back at the station.
Well done, partner.
Let's roll.
Anyone could have missed that.
Green's a pro.
And this is the spring outerwear collection
with a few transitional pieces.
Why does it smell, like, kinda damp?
Well, ever since the laundromat closed down,
I've had to wash my clothes in the bathtub.
- Yeah. Yeah, I'm digging it. - Yeah.
Those colors really suit you.
Gotta look the part.
Chinatown expert.
So how's it going with that detective?
Yeah, good.
You tell her you see dead people?
Not yet, but she should be calling any minute.
Really? You've been staring at the phone for days.
Fatty, I'm undercover, okay?
So I have to be alert.
- Undercover? - Yeah.
Then you must wear this fedora.
Wu residence. Willis speaking.
Willis, it's Detective Lee.
Hello, detective.
- What's up? - Why are you talking like that?
- Shh. - Let's get to work.
How soon can you meet me at the police station?
Right away. Right away.
Right away, right away. Um...
Why are we meeting at the station?
I found a file on your brother.
I need to get you into the precinct.
Okay. Um, can you tell me how to get there?
You've never been to the precinct?
No, I'm law-abiding.
It's across town through the underpass.
You want me to cross the underpass on foot?
- That's not safe. - Just... meet me at the corner.
Hello?
Well, yeah, of course, detective.
Okay, Fatty. I have a mission.
Cover for me.
- Mission? Cover for you? - Thanks for the shirt.
Wait, what does that mean?
Just take out the trash by myself?
Goddamn it.
Hey! Somebody fell asleep with the tap on again!
Don't turn me into a water cop.
There only so much of Fatty to go around.
Members of a local crime syndicate
have been charged with the murder of a Chinatown woman.
The department has declared this case closed.
We'll have more on that story
- following a look at our weather. - Thank you.
We've got your five-day forecast all lined up.
I'll let you know exactly...
We've got clear skies tomorrow.
The temperatures will climb midday...
My.
Ai-ya-ya-ya. Shit.
Ai-ya.
Leaving Chinatown.
After all these years,
I'm finally doing it.
I'm gonna find out what happened to my brother.
I know I can do this.
- Get in. - Hi.
Nope.
Back seat.
Okay.
Shit. You just ran that red light.
We don't have much time.
We've got a tight window till the next crime scene.
I got your brother's file. I need your eyes on it.
Okay. Can I see it?
It's at the precinct in an empty office.
Won't be long until someone notices it's missing.
So we have to move fast.
And...
...what are you hoping to get out of those files?
Something about this task force.
I did some digging.
For decades, Chinatown's been the epicenter of crime in the city,
but the task force was the only time
the department attempted to address it.
A major initiative spearheaded by City Hall
and it just disappears.
Whoa!
- Jesus. - There's gotta be a cover-up.
Something's going on there, you know?
That's where you come in.
You're a local, you know Chinatown better than me.
There's gotta be a,
a different angle, a missing piece.
- And if we can find that, then... - Then you solve your case
and I find out what happened to my brother.
You know, if it's not too difficult.
I know how much he meant.
Well, I don't know, but I can imagine.
He meant... he meant everything.
To a lot of people.
So if there's even a small chance I can do something...
let's fuckin' go!
Sorry, I didn't mean to cuss. I'm just really excited.
You know, just let's, let's do it.
You can cuss.
Shit!
Fatty.
Hey, laoban. What's up?
Where the hell is Willis?
He is...
donating bone marrow
to orphans.
Yeah. So...
...he'll be out all day.
But don't worry, Uncle Wong, I've got a plan.
I will take the trash to the dumpster by myself.
- No! - Table seven.
But...
- But you never let me wait on tables. - Well, now I do.
Yeah, but I, I don't...
interface with strangers.
It's not my thing.
By strangers you mean white people?
Do you see anybody else here?
What about Carl?
Carl's not ready yet.
- Carl's never gonna be ready. - Why not?
I'm ready.
Get out there or you're fired.
I heard my name. Was that for me?
Alright, I'ma just clean this up then. Don't worry about it.
I'm on it. I'm always ready.
Carl's always ready.
Fuck!
Um... Hey?
Nice shoe.
Just like on TV. Unreal.
- We just gonna go straight in there? - Yeah.
Room 102, the empty office.
But you're on your own. I have other duties.
Like detective duties?
Yes, Willis, detective duties.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
Before we get in there, can we just talk about the nail salon worker?
No, the case is closed. Gang war.
Okay. I don't mean to sound crazy or anything,
but I saw her walking outside of the restaurant.
- You saw her? - Yeah.
- Are you sure? - I'm sure.
I'm pretty sure.
I mean, I, I, I think it was her.
No, that doesn't make any sense. She's definitely dead.
I have a file
where her dead body is lying in the morgue.
Yeah. See, she's definitely dead.
Okay. Come on, let's go.
But, um, what about the teacup?
I was hoping that it would match with someone in the system, you know,
give us an in to the organization.
- And? - And nothing yet.
But I'm sure it'll be useful.
Also it was a test.
Yeah, it was a test
to see how well you work under pressure.
If you were quick on your feet, and you passed.
I passed?
Now we just need to get you through security.
I can't believe it. I'm really here.
Inside this building are the answers...
Jesus.
Detective Lee?
Follow me.
Shit.
Green and Turner are looking for you.
Victim was a freelance contractor.
How do you figure?
No logos on his work shirt.
Plus, no other workers on the scene of the crime
when the body was discovered.
Maybe he worked alone.
Then you're describing a job, not a motive.
- Lee, join us. - Any word from the morgue?
The medical examiner's on her way with the tox report.
- I'm right here. - She's here.
Dr. Diaz, greetings.
We were just discussing our victim.
Generic Asian man, mid-30s,
no visible tattoos or scars.
Well, someone clearly wanted him dead.
But the question is why?
'cause he's a freelance contractor.
His work shirt didn't have a logo on it, so...
- I just said that. - Thanks, Lana. That's really helpful.
Diaz, what do you got for us?
What are we looking at?
Quite a gruesome crime. The victim is still unknown.
Interesting blood splatter pattern.
We're still testing that.
Shit.
Excuse me. I'm trying to get into the precinct.
Can you help me?
Authorized personnel only.
I'm authorized.
I think.
Hello?
Pardon me, sir. I can't seem to get inside.
That's because you don't belong in there.
Shit.
Like I said.
This is one of the most irregular toxicology reports I've ever read.
And it almost has everything
to do with the way things have panned out here.
What is going on?
Come on.
What do you think, Lee?
Lana? Lana?
- Yeah. - Hello?
- What are you doing? - Yeah, proceed.
This man was poisoned with a syringe of snake venom.
Snake venom.
- Wait, what? - A western hognose snake.
A rear-fanged breed. Timid. Commonly kept as household pets.
I was in the reptile club in college.
Of course.
But an entire syringe of snake venom from one snake.
That feels...
Actually, a few dozen of 'em.
Lee, you're the Chinatown expert.
Yeah, you're the Chinatown expert.
Where would one go for a venomous snake, or 12?
Off the top of my head, there's probably, um,
an exotic pet store in Chinatown.
I mean, probably. Come on.
It's Chinatown, it's filled with creepy stuff.
You said it, not me.
But for the record, Green, I do not condone
- every single time-- - Okay. You know what?
Give it a rest, Boy Scout. No one cares.
What is he doing?
Thank you, Dr. Diaz.
- Shit. - I just don't get it.
Why'd they add her to our team?
Ten years, we've never had a hanger-on.
They say Lana Lee knows Chinatown.
But how do we know she knows Chinatown?
- Besides, we know Chinatown. - We do?
I mean, sure. But we aren't experts.
- We don't need to be. - I'm street smart and you're book smart.
You notice things. I know things.
We each take turns flying off the handle.
I swear, sometimes it's like she doesn't even know what to say.
It's like she's breaking our...
rhythm.
You just don't like her. She gets under your skin.
No, come on. I'm a professional.
It's nothing personal. It's just...
There's something weird about her.
What, is she a mole?
She a spy? What, is she a spook?
Because that would be a serious problem, Green.
Hey, it's not like that.
It's like she transferred here.
From where?
Where's she really from?
Where-where are you going with this?
You know that's not how I mean it.
I'm saying, like...
Holy crap.
I bet she's IA.
Internal affairs?
No, she's way too cool for that.
Well, whatever it is,
she's got some secret agenda.
Excuse me?
I just need to figure out what it is.
You know I hate change.
I know, I know.
But we can't question the wisdom of the higher-ups.
They put her in our unit, so...
play nice?
I'll give it a college try.
Very good.
That was weird.
Hello?
Where did everyone go?
Where am I?
Willis.
Why didn't you follow me inside?
I don't know. I-I tried, it was super weird.
- Like-- - Never mind.
We're back on the move. Let's just try again later.
Willis, come on.
- Like, I'm coming with you? - Yes.
What about Green and Turner?
I'll tell them you have helpful intel.
Besides, the clock is ticking, you know?
Who knows how long until our evidence goes bye-bye.
- I need you close by. - Okay.
Also, please tell me that there's an exotic pet store in Chinatown.
Yeah, there's a place that sells lizards and fish.
In the plaza, it's called... Skink or Swim.
See? Helpful.
She thinks I'm helpful.
Nope.
Okay, now we're gettin' somewhere.
What is ginger? Is that spicy?
Kind of...
Welcome to the Golden Palace.
We... Today's specials are drunken lobster
and slippery noodles.
Um, I'll have the ginger--
Slippery lobster and drunken noodles.
I'll have the ginger chicken...
Lobster noodles, drunken swamp... S-s...
Drunken shrimp, a-and...
Would you like me to repeat today's specials?
- No. No. - Yeah, I'm okay.
Um, I'll have the ginger chicken, but with no ginger.
And, white meat only.
And I'm gonna have the lo mein lunch special
with soup and no egg roll.
Okay.
But I feel like an egg roll.
I was gonna have your egg roll.
- Aw. - No, but he said,
- he said he doesn't want-- - Well, it's okay, it's okay.
Um, we'll do an order of egg roll, two orders of egg roll.
Please.
Thank you so much.
Um...
- Are we drinking? - No. No.
I am if you are.
Liquid lunch.
- How is the lychee saketini? - That sounds amazing.
- Right? - Yes.
Okay. Two of those, thank you.
Got it. Love you. Thank you. Thank you, sir.
Did he just say "I love you"?
- Yeah. - Excuse me.
Yeah. Skink or Swim.
S-K-I-N-K.
Okay, wait. Is that skink like a lizard?
Yes, the lizard with the long tapered tail.
And tell him the owner is this weird hippie guy,
he wears socks with sandals.
I can't tell him that.
Copy that. Anything else, Detective Lee?
Over and out.
Willis...
When we're investigating Chinatown,
I'm gonna need you to do what I say, okay?
Lana, seriously, I was not allowed into the building.
Because you need to be more assertive.
I know you're just a waiter, but you need to...
- Just a waiter? - ...project confidence.
It's not a confidence thing.
This one guy literally told me I don't belong in there.
Okay. Well you know what?
I'll introduce you to Green and Turner.
It'll be easier coming from someone they respect.
Did I say something funny?
No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
About what time would you say you closed up shop last night?
Sorry. I haven’t been sleeping.
I hurt my foot.
My memory's kinda fuzzy.
Can you tell us what happened here?
Well, what does it look like?
Those monsters broke in and stole all my hognose snakes.
What monsters?
It's those local animal smugglers.
They run a black market for wealthy collectors.
God knows what they do with them when they're sold.
This case has more twists than a false water cobra.
- I'll say. - We used to have one of those too.
He was my friend, man.
Sorry for your loss.
Tell your bird not to talk to women like that.
- Disgusting. - Don't mind her.
Where could these damn snake snatchers be hiding?
Green, Turner. Hey.
- Why don't we ask the new hire? - Good call.
I wanted you guys to meet a local boy, Willis Wu.
He's a waiter, but he's, I think he could be a real asset.
- That's me. - Lana, you're the Chinatown expert.
Where would you look for an animal black market?
That's a good question for him actually.
Lana, you're the Chinatown expert.
Where would you look for an animal black market?
I just...
Lana, you're the Chinatown expert.
Where would you look for an animal black market?
- What? - Um, so I think you should check
the old laundromat that's abandoned.
Is she really just staring at us?
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, it sounds like a zoo at night.
Got an anonymous tip about the laundromat.
Reliable source.
Laundromat. Guess that's where we're headed.
Let's go.
Let's roll!
Are you okay?
- And what was that? - I don't know.
You don't know if you're okay or you don't know what that was?
- Both. - They're so mean.
Here we...
...go.
This ginger chicken has extra ginger.
I said no ginger.
- And this isn't a lychee saketini. - No.
- It's clearly a beer. - No, no, no, no.
How is this happening?
Okay. Get it together, Fatty.
- You're gonna have to eat what I gave you. - What? Why?
I don't know if you've noticed,
but there are two new people in the restaurant
and they need me now, okay?
This place is totally out of control.
Do you understand?
You're not the center of the universe anymore.
- Calm down. - There's only so much of me
that can go around,
so, you, eat your chicken.
Ginger's good for you. It's a superfood.
And you, saketinis are disgusting. It's not even a real thing.
So how about you drink a beer and shut up?
Thank you for understanding. It's my first day.
Welcome to Golden Palace. Sit the fuck down.
So, Detective Green was mad.
Yeah. Maybe I shouldn't have brought you out there.
Yeah, no. I don't even think they even noticed me.
Speaking of which, I kinda overheard Green talking trash.
What?
- About what? - About you.
What'd she say?
She was just wondering why you're on the team.
She knows why I'm on the team.
I'm the resident Chinatown expert.
Right, but then you still need me to teach you about Chinatown.
Yeah, Willis, but that's temporary.
I, I'm... will learn. I will catch up.
I have to.
No, no, I'm, I'm sure you will.
- I'm sure you will. - What else did she say?
That lizard's watching me.
Ignore her.
Freeze! Police!
Whoa!
Careful. Rare species.
That thing's beautiful, but it bites.
- Turner! - Get back here.
Willis, I told you to wait in the car.
So you're not gonna go chase down the criminals?
It's not my job to chase them.
It's my job to support Turner and Green
so they can chase them.
Okay. Like, have you always been that kinda cop?
What? I don't know.
I mean, it's my first time as a cop, so...
I'm sorry. What?
It's my first time as a cop.
It's your first time as a cop?
You mean you weren't a cop before you got here?
No, but I had a bunch of other jobs and they all prepared me--
A bunch of other jobs? Like what jobs?
Like cop jobs?
Willis, like, I was the first mate on a yacht, okay?
I was an assistant Krav Maga instructor.
And before that, I was a barback.
A, a barback?
And it's a lot of physical labor. So you don't...
Actually this is... There's stuff... Never mind.
So, what, you're like a professional sidekick?
Shut up, Willis.
Nice... Hey, hey.
- I have work to do. - Hey. Nice and easy.
Nice and easy.
This is for all those reptiles that you disrespected.
Green.
- Notice anything? - Shh. Shut up.
Pet store owner said they were selling animals to collectors.
I wonder...
what's behind...
here.
- Don't shoot. - Drop the fork.
And how is hognose snake seasoned anyway?
What is that?
This is no reptile.
This is a mammal.
No sign of the snakes or the venom used in the syringe.
Well, animal trafficking is a crime.
Yeah, but you know what it ain't?
A human murder.
Trail's gone cold. Our investigation failed.
Has that ever happened before?
'Cause...
Say, Lana, now how about you circle back
to the first crime scene at the construction site?
Right. Yeah.
In case we missed something.
Right, yeah. Knock yourself out.
This is my fault. I was too focused on the new recruit.
I took my eye off the ball.
There's always the next game.
Until the season ends.
Thanks for visiting. Come back soon.
- We won't. - Okay.
Hey, wait. Wait, you left something. Hey!
My God.
Are you serious?
Yes!
What are they even building here?
I don't know.
Something fancy, maybe a condo.
Look.
"Keep Chinatown weird."
"Die yuppie scum."
Wow. Someone really hated this guy?
Well, I know how he feels.
Hey, um...
Are you okay?
Yeah.
I'm just, definitely gonna lose my job, but...
I'm sorry, um, does that happen often?
Yeah. As soon as I stop being useful.
I think you're very useful.
If I don't solve this case, I can't investigate your brother.
I know, and I appreciate everything.
Um, and if this means anything, um...
I think you're a pretty good cop.
Thanks, Willis.
You're welcome.
You were young when your brother disappeared, right?
Yeah.
What do you remember about him?
He was the coolest.
He made me feel cooler by just being around him.
And he always made time for me.
But then he started pulling away, you know.
It's like he had this whole separate world
that we didn't really know about.
You know, come to think of it, when he vanished,
he was actually the same age that I am now.
And I just take out the trash.
- You mean you like... - "Take out the trash"?
No, I mean, I take out the garbage into a dumpster.
- Yeah. - Actual trash?
Yes.
Yeah, well, it's better than being a professional sidekick.
Some sidekicks are cool.
Wait, what?
What's that?
It's a...
a shoe.
What is that? Like poop?
Yeah, it's like bird shit. Ew.
My God. The pet store owner.
He's the only one in Chinatown to wear these weird hippie shoes.
Hippies hate yuppies. Motive!
He could have committed the murder, staged the robbery,
and-and then framed the smugglers to get us off his trail.
Lana, I think we just solved the case.
- Call Turner and Green! - Okay, okay.
I'll do it from the car.
We're gonna get you into the precinct, okay?
- Okay. - Or we're gonna die trying. Let's go.
Okay, while Green and Turner are busy with their press conference,
we sneak you in.
Let's go. Go, go, go, go, go!
- Whoa. Whoa. - We need to get through.
I need to see your badge, please.
Yeah. And he's with me, so...
- Who? - Me.
This guy again. Jeez.
♪
Okay, well...
Okay, well, there's, there's another way in...
It's not going to work, Lana.
This is just one more thing my brother got to do that I never will.
No, Willis, we can... there's still, there's still another way in, we can--
Look.
I should go home.
I'm sorry I called you a sidekick.
Hey.
Sifu.
Hah!
Why do you dress like perfume salesman?
I went out.
Went out with Audrey?
No, Ma, you always ask me that. No.
I broke up a smuggling ring in an illegal restaurant
inside of the abandoned laundromat.
And I helped solve a murder.
You're saying there's a vacancy at laundromat?
Sure. Yeah.
That bastard was putting up that fancy high-rise,
driving up property values.
How am I supposed to keep my business open?
Exotic pets? It's highly specialized.
And you were willing to sacrifice
innocent snakes to do it.
You're lower than scum!
Turner, cool down.
Book him!
I'll call the DA.
Lee.
- Good job today. - Thank you.
I mean, you really do know Chinatown. It's extraordinary.
Speaking of which, um...
on the news the other day, you mentioned the gang the Painted Faces.
Do you know anything about them?
Nothing except what was in
the official statement they gave me to read.
There's, um,
there's always some new gang popping up. I can't keep track.
I'll let you get to it.
Where are you?
And then I realized,
the menu has these, like, little numbers next to every item.
You ever notice that?
These tiny little numbers. They're everywhere.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I could have written those down
instead of the individual names of the food.
So how'd it go with that cop?
You know...
I thought things were gonna change finally,
but I guess they never will.
Yes! Yes!
That's great news. It's just you and me.
Right?
We can just live our lives.
Smoke, drink, eat, sing karaoke,
and then we die.
That's it.
We just gotta keep expectations low.
Just like Old Fong.
That sounds awesome.
Yes. Yes, it will be so awesome.
Okay, you'll be a waiter and I'll be your sidekick.
Nah, I don't think a waiter deserves a sidekick.
Nah, man. People love waiters.
I-I'm serious.
Hey, it's the world's most straightforward relationship.
People love food.
Waiters deliver food and make people happy.
Yeah.
Waiters just make people happy.
Tonight, we celebrate Lo Fong, a simple man.
This was his favorite karaoke song.
Yeah.
♪ You with the sad eyes ♪
♪ Don't be discouraged ♪
♪ I realize it's hard to take courage ♪
♪ In the world full of people ♪
♪ You can lose sight of it all ♪
♪ And darkness so inside you ♪
♪ Make you feel so small ♪
♪
Old Fong never left home.
He lived a quiet life and it was enough for him.
But not for me.
I may not be a detective or even a sidekick,
but delivering food, I'm very good at.
Kung fu isn't the only way out of Chinatown.
This is how they see me.
So this is my way in.
Whoo!
♪ So don't be afraid ♪
♪ To let them show ♪
♪ Your true colors ♪
♪ True colors ♪
♪ Are beautiful ♪
♪ Like a rainbow ♪
Delivery?
Right, come on in.
A gift from Golden Palace.
Cool. Just leave it.
Okay, cool.
♪